Eastern Conference Finals Game 2 (First Half Notes)

This isn't going to be actually posted live because I'm pretty lazy and I don't want to press the "Edit Post" button 9000 times tonight. So I'm just going to perform a braindump as the game is being played and post it all at once.

[8:39]
-Oh look, 17 seconds into the game and Detriot is shooting free throws.
[8:42]
-Ray Allen seems afraid to shoot the ball from a distance of greater than 5 feet out.
[8:44]
-A whistle blows and everyone starts cheering. I seem to have missed an offensive foul on the Pistons.
-Rondo with a sick rebound, immediately conserves greatness and throws the ball at Rasheed Wallace.
[8:47]
-Allen called on a foul for standing still while being assaulted with the ball.
[8:49]
-Fuck, this is hard.
[8:51]
-Holy shit. Celtics out of nowhere blocking/stealing everything.
-First commercial break. There is now a cat sitting directly in front of the TV, blocking a 5"x5" square of viewing area.
[8:55]
-Back from commercial and greeted with a 24 second violation by the celtics. I'm still not sure how that ever happens.
[8:56]
-With the crowd chanting "D-FENCE" the Celtics decide to watch Billups drive to the hoop for an easy layup. Must be opposite day.
[8:58]
-Timeout for more commercials.
[8:59]
-This Dockers ad has a pretty cool song in it.
-Coors Light "Love Train" Commercial Count: 2
[9:01]
-Eddie House gets kicked in the balls while fouling Billups on a 3-point attempt.
[9:03]
-Kevin Garnett hitting fade-away jumpers like it's his job. Oh, wait...
[9:04]
-Cat status: Still blocking the television.
[9:05]
-Pistons 24 second violation. I still don't know how it's possible to not even chuck the ball towards the basket when given that much time.
[9:06]
-Paul Pierce to the line with 18 seconds left in the quarter. Hits both.
[9:07]
-End of the first quarter. 20-18, Celtics advantage.
[9:11]
-I just learned that there is such a thing as the "Mobile Law Office" which is essentially a shortbus that this lawyer will driver to you house to solve your personal injury lawsuit. Nothing good will come of this.
[9:13]
-Sam Cassell is straight chillin' on the sideline right now.
[9:15]
-Neither team has scored yet this quarter.
-Nevermind, Pistons just tied it up.
[9:16]
-Bill just got here and now refuses to follow through with his bet of ingesting a tablespoon of cinnamon. What a fucktard.
[9:18]
-Lindsey Hunter steals the ball from Allen and promptly falls on his face without being touched by anyone. Obviously Allen is called for the foul.
[9:20]
-"Nudists in hot air balloons" commercial by Honda freaks me right the fuck out.
[9:23]
-Random shot of Doc Rivers on the bench drinking from a water bottle with his pinky extended.
[9:26]
-Posey ties up the game with a clutch three pointer.
-OH MY JESUS FUCKING SHIT! Garnett blocks a 1 on 1.
[9:27]
-Miller Lite "Annoying Blind Guy" commercial. Someone needs to beat that fucker with his blind stick.
[9:29]
-Indiana Jones commercial. Note: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. IT BLOWS GOAT BALLS. You have been warned.
[9:30]
-Cat status: moved away from the TV. I can now see the ESPN Bottomline.
[9:32]
-Two Celtics go for the same rebound and nearly turn the ball over. In other breaking stories: water is, in fact, wet.
[9:30]
-Cameras panning the audience show a child mimicing suicide by gunshot after a bad foul call. The broadcast can only go downhill from here.
[9:35]
-First "BULLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT" chant of the night.
[9:36]
-Pistons go up by 5 on some bad passes. Celtics playing like a bunch of Aspies at this point.
[9:37]
-"Stops on a dime and gives him 9 cents change." I will give $1 to the person who can explain what the hell Marc Jackson is talking about here.
[9:43]
-Rich Hamilton shooting foul shots. I still maintain that he should paint menancing images on his face protector.
[9:44]
-Announcers postulating what Billups' current problem might be. I'm not sure about basketball, but in life it probably stems from his parents naming him fucking Chauncy.
[9:47]
-Celtics call timeout with 16 seconds left in the half. Time for some kickin' rad fucking gay commercials.
[9:49]
-Annnnnnnnnd that's the half. 43-50 Pistons. Shit.