Where I thought this blog could be famous.
Well I was wrong.
But anyways I felt I had something to write about, so here I am writing (I know this is boring).
Well Celtics are World Champions. If you were a Celtics fan the only doubt you had was how many games it would take. The thing that bothered me throughout these playoffs is how much ESPN sucked Lebron and Kobe's dicks respectively. I don't get it! They are great players, but when their teams won it was always about them, even when they had last than perfect games. When they lost it was always how is (insert one of the two here) going to bounce back from this? How bout, how are the LAKERS going to bounce back from this? Or how are the Cavs going to bounce back? When the Celtics lost it was always (insert name) takes over the game. When the Celtics won it was never (insert name) played awful (insert team) loses. Thank you ESPN for reminding us how much you don't care about the sport, but how much you care about Lebron and Kobe.
Another thing that pissed me off about ESPN lately has been the coverage on Tiger. Tiger wins US Open dramatically. Much props because that was impressive, it made watching Golf on TV relevant that weekend. However, having an in depth coverage on his knee surgery is waste of good sports time! The fact that a week after Tiger wins the open and they are asking people what is golf going to do? OK golf will be just fine. Someone else will fucking win. That's about it. Who gives a shit about his surgery. He needs to rehab and he'll be back. It doesn't vouch having a 20 min segment on his surgery. A simple "Tiger Woods will be out (insert amount of weeks) because of (injury). He had surgery today and it went smoothly. We hope Tiger returns soon so golf will have ratings again." End of story.
I actually have more stuff to write here but it will have to wait.
Until then I leave you with The Tampa Bay Rays a half game in first place.....WTF?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Eastern Conference Finals Game 2 (First Half Notes)
This isn't going to be actually posted live because I'm pretty lazy and I don't want to press the "Edit Post" button 9000 times tonight. So I'm just going to perform a braindump as the game is being played and post it all at once.
[8:39]
-Oh look, 17 seconds into the game and Detriot is shooting free throws.
[8:42]
-Ray Allen seems afraid to shoot the ball from a distance of greater than 5 feet out.
[8:44]
-A whistle blows and everyone starts cheering. I seem to have missed an offensive foul on the Pistons.
-Rondo with a sick rebound, immediately conserves greatness and throws the ball at Rasheed Wallace.
[8:47]
-Allen called on a foul for standing still while being assaulted with the ball.
[8:49]
-Fuck, this is hard.
[8:51]
-Holy shit. Celtics out of nowhere blocking/stealing everything.
-First commercial break. There is now a cat sitting directly in front of the TV, blocking a 5"x5" square of viewing area.
[8:55]
-Back from commercial and greeted with a 24 second violation by the celtics. I'm still not sure how that ever happens.
[8:56]
-With the crowd chanting "D-FENCE" the Celtics decide to watch Billups drive to the hoop for an easy layup. Must be opposite day.
[8:58]
-Timeout for more commercials.
[8:59]
-This Dockers ad has a pretty cool song in it.
-Coors Light "Love Train" Commercial Count: 2
[9:01]
-Eddie House gets kicked in the balls while fouling Billups on a 3-point attempt.
[9:03]
-Kevin Garnett hitting fade-away jumpers like it's his job. Oh, wait...
[9:04]
-Cat status: Still blocking the television.
[9:05]
-Pistons 24 second violation. I still don't know how it's possible to not even chuck the ball towards the basket when given that much time.
[9:06]
-Paul Pierce to the line with 18 seconds left in the quarter. Hits both.
[9:07]
-End of the first quarter. 20-18, Celtics advantage.
[9:11]
-I just learned that there is such a thing as the "Mobile Law Office" which is essentially a shortbus that this lawyer will driver to you house to solve your personal injury lawsuit. Nothing good will come of this.
[9:13]
-Sam Cassell is straight chillin' on the sideline right now.
[9:15]
-Neither team has scored yet this quarter.
-Nevermind, Pistons just tied it up.
[9:16]
-Bill just got here and now refuses to follow through with his bet of ingesting a tablespoon of cinnamon. What a fucktard.
[9:18]
-Lindsey Hunter steals the ball from Allen and promptly falls on his face without being touched by anyone. Obviously Allen is called for the foul.
[9:20]
-"Nudists in hot air balloons" commercial by Honda freaks me right the fuck out.
[9:23]
-Random shot of Doc Rivers on the bench drinking from a water bottle with his pinky extended.
[9:26]
-Posey ties up the game with a clutch three pointer.
-OH MY JESUS FUCKING SHIT! Garnett blocks a 1 on 1.
[9:27]
-Miller Lite "Annoying Blind Guy" commercial. Someone needs to beat that fucker with his blind stick.
[9:29]
-Indiana Jones commercial. Note: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. IT BLOWS GOAT BALLS. You have been warned.
[9:30]
-Cat status: moved away from the TV. I can now see the ESPN Bottomline.
[9:32]
-Two Celtics go for the same rebound and nearly turn the ball over. In other breaking stories: water is, in fact, wet.
[9:30]
-Cameras panning the audience show a child mimicing suicide by gunshot after a bad foul call. The broadcast can only go downhill from here.
[9:35]
-First "BULLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT" chant of the night.
[9:36]
-Pistons go up by 5 on some bad passes. Celtics playing like a bunch of Aspies at this point.
[9:37]
-"Stops on a dime and gives him 9 cents change." I will give $1 to the person who can explain what the hell Marc Jackson is talking about here.
[9:43]
-Rich Hamilton shooting foul shots. I still maintain that he should paint menancing images on his face protector.
[9:44]
-Announcers postulating what Billups' current problem might be. I'm not sure about basketball, but in life it probably stems from his parents naming him fucking Chauncy.
[9:47]
-Celtics call timeout with 16 seconds left in the half. Time for somekickin' rad fucking gay commercials.
[9:49]
-Annnnnnnnnd that's the half. 43-50 Pistons. Shit.
[8:39]
-Oh look, 17 seconds into the game and Detriot is shooting free throws.
[8:42]
-Ray Allen seems afraid to shoot the ball from a distance of greater than 5 feet out.
[8:44]
-A whistle blows and everyone starts cheering. I seem to have missed an offensive foul on the Pistons.
-Rondo with a sick rebound, immediately conserves greatness and throws the ball at Rasheed Wallace.
[8:47]
-Allen called on a foul for standing still while being assaulted with the ball.
[8:49]
-Fuck, this is hard.
[8:51]
-Holy shit. Celtics out of nowhere blocking/stealing everything.
-First commercial break. There is now a cat sitting directly in front of the TV, blocking a 5"x5" square of viewing area.
[8:55]
-Back from commercial and greeted with a 24 second violation by the celtics. I'm still not sure how that ever happens.
[8:56]
-With the crowd chanting "D-FENCE" the Celtics decide to watch Billups drive to the hoop for an easy layup. Must be opposite day.
[8:58]
-Timeout for more commercials.
[8:59]
-This Dockers ad has a pretty cool song in it.
-Coors Light "Love Train" Commercial Count: 2
[9:01]
-Eddie House gets kicked in the balls while fouling Billups on a 3-point attempt.
[9:03]
-Kevin Garnett hitting fade-away jumpers like it's his job. Oh, wait...
[9:04]
-Cat status: Still blocking the television.
[9:05]
-Pistons 24 second violation. I still don't know how it's possible to not even chuck the ball towards the basket when given that much time.
[9:06]
-Paul Pierce to the line with 18 seconds left in the quarter. Hits both.
[9:07]
-End of the first quarter. 20-18, Celtics advantage.
[9:11]
-I just learned that there is such a thing as the "Mobile Law Office" which is essentially a shortbus that this lawyer will driver to you house to solve your personal injury lawsuit. Nothing good will come of this.
[9:13]
-Sam Cassell is straight chillin' on the sideline right now.
[9:15]
-Neither team has scored yet this quarter.
-Nevermind, Pistons just tied it up.
[9:16]
-Bill just got here and now refuses to follow through with his bet of ingesting a tablespoon of cinnamon. What a fucktard.
[9:18]
-Lindsey Hunter steals the ball from Allen and promptly falls on his face without being touched by anyone. Obviously Allen is called for the foul.
[9:20]
-"Nudists in hot air balloons" commercial by Honda freaks me right the fuck out.
[9:23]
-Random shot of Doc Rivers on the bench drinking from a water bottle with his pinky extended.
[9:26]
-Posey ties up the game with a clutch three pointer.
-OH MY JESUS FUCKING SHIT! Garnett blocks a 1 on 1.
[9:27]
-Miller Lite "Annoying Blind Guy" commercial. Someone needs to beat that fucker with his blind stick.
[9:29]
-Indiana Jones commercial. Note: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. IT BLOWS GOAT BALLS. You have been warned.
[9:30]
-Cat status: moved away from the TV. I can now see the ESPN Bottomline.
[9:32]
-Two Celtics go for the same rebound and nearly turn the ball over. In other breaking stories: water is, in fact, wet.
[9:30]
-Cameras panning the audience show a child mimicing suicide by gunshot after a bad foul call. The broadcast can only go downhill from here.
[9:35]
-First "BULLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT" chant of the night.
[9:36]
-Pistons go up by 5 on some bad passes. Celtics playing like a bunch of Aspies at this point.
[9:37]
-"Stops on a dime and gives him 9 cents change." I will give $1 to the person who can explain what the hell Marc Jackson is talking about here.
[9:43]
-Rich Hamilton shooting foul shots. I still maintain that he should paint menancing images on his face protector.
[9:44]
-Announcers postulating what Billups' current problem might be. I'm not sure about basketball, but in life it probably stems from his parents naming him fucking Chauncy.
[9:47]
-Celtics call timeout with 16 seconds left in the half. Time for some
[9:49]
-Annnnnnnnnd that's the half. 43-50 Pistons. Shit.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Uncharted Territory
Can i get a show of hands from all the Basketball fans out there?
no one? didn't think so...
For those of you who live in a cave, the Boston Celtics are 52-13 and en route to a nice little romp through the playoffs. Thank you Minnesota. (for KG, Big Papi, and indirectly Randy "straight cash homey" Moss)
But I want to give a little credit to two other people who aren't on the court every night. Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers. Now, i know what you're going to say. "Coaches only make a difference in football when they're calling the plays" "GMs are worthless suits" yadda yadda yadda.
You gotta thank Danny for putting this whole team together, and what a team it has been. Obviously, Kevin McHale owed Ainge BIG time for something that happened between them years ago, so he gave us KG for some undisciplined juniors, but what about the real role players? The signing of KG allowed Ainge to get sharpshooter Eddie House and defensive specialist James Posey at a discounted rate. These were the signings that completed the team, along with the development of younger players like Rajon Rondo and Leon Powe. KG makes a huge impact, but the Big Three are nothing without their solid gold supporting cast.
Props go to Doc as well. In the beginning of the season it was "Doc has done a great job controlling the egos of these three superstars." Now it's something different. Look at the Spurs and the Rockets games over the past two days. Against San Antonio, the green were down by 22 at one point. When some teams would fall apart and coaches would cry at this, Doc and his celts buckled down and stormed back. Same thing against Houston. Tied 40-40 at half time. You don't think Doc's advice led the to demolish the 22 game win streak in the second half?
Yes a lot of it is the intensity and fortitude of the men on the court, but give a little love to the boys who keep things together. That and Doc has reached a .500 career record as a coach, and will almost definately surpass that mark as a Celtics coach this season as well. Congrats
no one? didn't think so...
For those of you who live in a cave, the Boston Celtics are 52-13 and en route to a nice little romp through the playoffs. Thank you Minnesota. (for KG, Big Papi, and indirectly Randy "straight cash homey" Moss)
But I want to give a little credit to two other people who aren't on the court every night. Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers. Now, i know what you're going to say. "Coaches only make a difference in football when they're calling the plays" "GMs are worthless suits" yadda yadda yadda.
You gotta thank Danny for putting this whole team together, and what a team it has been. Obviously, Kevin McHale owed Ainge BIG time for something that happened between them years ago, so he gave us KG for some undisciplined juniors, but what about the real role players? The signing of KG allowed Ainge to get sharpshooter Eddie House and defensive specialist James Posey at a discounted rate. These were the signings that completed the team, along with the development of younger players like Rajon Rondo and Leon Powe. KG makes a huge impact, but the Big Three are nothing without their solid gold supporting cast.
Props go to Doc as well. In the beginning of the season it was "Doc has done a great job controlling the egos of these three superstars." Now it's something different. Look at the Spurs and the Rockets games over the past two days. Against San Antonio, the green were down by 22 at one point. When some teams would fall apart and coaches would cry at this, Doc and his celts buckled down and stormed back. Same thing against Houston. Tied 40-40 at half time. You don't think Doc's advice led the to demolish the 22 game win streak in the second half?
Yes a lot of it is the intensity and fortitude of the men on the court, but give a little love to the boys who keep things together. That and Doc has reached a .500 career record as a coach, and will almost definately surpass that mark as a Celtics coach this season as well. Congrats
Monday, March 10, 2008
Maybe it was how i was brought up...
Or maybe I'm just a student of the wrong school of thought.
I've participated in quite a few seasons of organized and pick-up sports (mostly in the grade school - high school level) and one thing was blatantly obvious to me all these years...Basically, the guys who are actually good at said sports were usually picked first.
What may have caused a riff in a great friendship because you picked Joe Baseball over your best friend (who's probably a better Mathlete than athlete,) probably ended up being the better decision for your T E A M. Gordo the Mathlete may have run really hard, dove for every ball, and never quit on you, but unfortunately, Gordo was a blond haired, transparent skinned wimp who regardless of his grit and determination got thrown out, missed when he dove, and always walked away feeling like he could have left more out there...maybe something like talent.
Which brings me to this fabulous article (Warning: This entire article is NOT dedicated to the grittiness of the SuperWhite Twins, but contains references to said "super" heroes)
"Those two guys exemplify what we want to be," Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi says. "That's why they're better fits for us. They're grinders, and they're dirtbags.
If by "exemplify what we want to be", you mean we want to suck, then you are right on target.
I don't care if i have a team and a half of Gay-Rods who get pedicures before games and have bedazzled cell phones. If they put up a line like this .314/.422/.645 (with 54 HR 156RBI 95Runs) I would get Cover Girl to be a stadium sponsor just so they could get free blush. (Note: while some of those are Career stats for out friend Mrs. Rodriguez, most of them are around his career average)
While Eckstein may be (i can't believe i'm saying this) somewhat of an improvement over John McDonald at SS, he is hardly the Savior of Teams, and definitely not someone I would like to model my franchise after. And Rolen is an obvious downgrade at 3rd from Troy Glaus.
"Just the style of these two guys is something we needed," manager John Gibbons says. "It's not like either of them are such great players that everything comes so easy to them; they're cruisers. They both get down and dirty. And teams that win always have their share of those guys. I think we needed more of that."
Apparently my previously stated logic has been debunked. I cannot have a team of over achievers who put up ridiculous numbers and play fantastic defense and win a championship. I have to throw in a few guys who aren't that good at baseball to even the playing field.
WAIT, I've got it! In order to win you have to be gritty, and in order to be gritty you have to be...white! I see it all so clearly now. It can all be explained by this simple formula:
x + x = championship where x = white/ gritty/ or not nearly as talented so they have to make up for it with dirtbaggieness (TM)
Apparently everyone else in the league who doesn't fall into this category doesn't actually value winning. They get paid absurd amounts of money to play stick ball with their buddies, and go home thinking "¿Por qué hacen éstos a tipos blancos tratan tan duramente? "
P.S. Gordo was just his nickname. His real name was obviously David.
I've participated in quite a few seasons of organized and pick-up sports (mostly in the grade school - high school level) and one thing was blatantly obvious to me all these years...Basically, the guys who are actually good at said sports were usually picked first.
What may have caused a riff in a great friendship because you picked Joe Baseball over your best friend (who's probably a better Mathlete than athlete,) probably ended up being the better decision for your T E A M. Gordo the Mathlete may have run really hard, dove for every ball, and never quit on you, but unfortunately, Gordo was a blond haired, transparent skinned wimp who regardless of his grit and determination got thrown out, missed when he dove, and always walked away feeling like he could have left more out there...maybe something like talent.
Which brings me to this fabulous article (Warning: This entire article is NOT dedicated to the grittiness of the SuperWhite Twins, but contains references to said "super" heroes)
"Those two guys exemplify what we want to be," Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi says. "That's why they're better fits for us. They're grinders, and they're dirtbags.
If by "exemplify what we want to be", you mean we want to suck, then you are right on target.
I don't care if i have a team and a half of Gay-Rods who get pedicures before games and have bedazzled cell phones. If they put up a line like this .314/.422/.645 (with 54 HR 156RBI 95Runs) I would get Cover Girl to be a stadium sponsor just so they could get free blush. (Note: while some of those are Career stats for out friend Mrs. Rodriguez, most of them are around his career average)
While Eckstein may be (i can't believe i'm saying this) somewhat of an improvement over John McDonald at SS, he is hardly the Savior of Teams, and definitely not someone I would like to model my franchise after. And Rolen is an obvious downgrade at 3rd from Troy Glaus.
"Just the style of these two guys is something we needed," manager John Gibbons says. "It's not like either of them are such great players that everything comes so easy to them; they're cruisers. They both get down and dirty. And teams that win always have their share of those guys. I think we needed more of that."
Apparently my previously stated logic has been debunked. I cannot have a team of over achievers who put up ridiculous numbers and play fantastic defense and win a championship. I have to throw in a few guys who aren't that good at baseball to even the playing field.
WAIT, I've got it! In order to win you have to be gritty, and in order to be gritty you have to be...white! I see it all so clearly now. It can all be explained by this simple formula:
x + x = championship where x = white/ gritty/ or not nearly as talented so they have to make up for it with dirtbaggieness (TM)
Apparently everyone else in the league who doesn't fall into this category doesn't actually value winning. They get paid absurd amounts of money to play stick ball with their buddies, and go home thinking "¿Por qué hacen éstos a tipos blancos tratan tan duramente? "
P.S. Gordo was just his nickname. His real name was obviously David.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
That Certainly Didn't Last Very Long
It would have been more accurate to title that last post as "We're (Going To Be) Back, Bitches!".
The discussion in our apartment went something like (read: exactly like) this. Imagine the Gammy part as being yelled through a hallway, up a flight of stairs and at my closed door while a sick Me is trying to go to sleep at 8:30pm.
Gammy: We're back bitches!
Me (internal): What the fuck is he yelling about?
Me (out loud): What the fuck are you yelling about?
Gammy: TDC, baby!
Me (to myself): Oh...
And Canada wasn't home so that's how it all happened. Magical, isn't it?
Now, I hadn't planned on posting anything until our fantasy draft in March but since Gammy made the post and decided to blueball all of our readers (hi Ed) by not saying anything else for 15 days I'm going to take the time to drop some knowledge up in this bitch.
In actual news, the third iteration of our fantasy baseball league has begun!
This year, titled "Tampa3 - Rays of Death", we have a 12-team head to head 8x8 stat category clusterfuck going on which (I think) can be viewed here. After much internal discussion the stat categories are as follows:
The discussion in our apartment went something like (read: exactly like) this. Imagine the Gammy part as being yelled through a hallway, up a flight of stairs and at my closed door while a sick Me is trying to go to sleep at 8:30pm.
Gammy: We're back bitches!
Me (internal): What the fuck is he yelling about?
Me (out loud): What the fuck are you yelling about?
Gammy: TDC, baby!
Me (to myself): Oh...
And Canada wasn't home so that's how it all happened. Magical, isn't it?
Now, I hadn't planned on posting anything until our fantasy draft in March but since Gammy made the post and decided to blueball all of our readers (hi Ed) by not saying anything else for 15 days I'm going to take the time to drop some knowledge up in this bitch.
In actual news, the third iteration of our fantasy baseball league has begun!
This year, titled "Tampa3 - Rays of Death", we have a 12-team head to head 8x8 stat category clusterfuck going on which (I think) can be viewed here. After much internal discussion the stat categories are as follows:
- Hits - Fucking, duh.
- Runs - Number of runs scored.
- Runs Batted In - Also fucking, duh.
- Home Runs - The single most valuable thing an offense can produce.
- Stolen Bases - Gives value to fast guys who can't hit.
- Batting Average - The chance that a batter gets a hit.
- On-base Percentage - The chance that a batter does not make an out.
- Slugging Percentage - The number of bases gained per at-bat.
- Wins - 20 of these are equal to one Cy Young award.
- Saves - The reason people think Todd Jones and Joe Borowski are good pitchers.
- Holds - There are such things as pitchers between the starter and the closer. Who knew?
- Strikeouts - Good pitchers have lots of these.
- Earned Run Average - This is very dependent on a team's defense and luck but nobody seems to notice or care.
- Walk + Hit/Innings Pitched - The number of baserunners allowed by a pitcher per inning.
- Strikeout/Walk - Ratio of strikeouts to walks.
- Strikeout/9 Innings Pitched - Ratio of strikeouts per nine innings pitched.
We left Heart, Scrap, Grit, Shortness and Whiteness off of the list this season. Whoever drafts David Eckstein is going to be sorely disappointed.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
We're Back Bitches
So I'd like to take this time to reflect on a great Patriots season, but what a fucking terrible ending. But I'm not bitter, because I have a short memory.
Anyways, in two days the spring training finally begins. I'm excited. Why you ask? Well its not over the fact that I still have to wait a little over a month for real games to begin. I'm excited because it is the beginning of fantasy baseball season! It's all the excitement of finding the next big prospect, the smack talk between friends, and who could forget the prize money of finishing in the top 3.
Well get excited, TDC is back....
Anyways, in two days the spring training finally begins. I'm excited. Why you ask? Well its not over the fact that I still have to wait a little over a month for real games to begin. I'm excited because it is the beginning of fantasy baseball season! It's all the excitement of finding the next big prospect, the smack talk between friends, and who could forget the prize money of finishing in the top 3.
Well get excited, TDC is back....
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