As none of you know, Touchdown Cincinnati was not the first choice for the name of this blog, but it was definitely the most offensive. Either way, being a fan of the Fire Joe Morgan site, and having a local reporter we all love to hate, our original site idea was Fire Dan Shaughnessy.com.
That being said, i believe we now have our blogging GOLD MINE!
Just as FJM has their weekly Joe Chat, it seems our friend at the Globe, Mr. Shaugnessy now has his very Dan Chat!
The only issue with Dan Chat is that, as much as we hate Dan, he knows slightly more than the Talented Mr. Morgan. Aside from a complete ineptitude for typing and spelling, we're going to have to keep tabs on this, watch his every move, and figure out his habits and patterns so we can get into a groove of really exposing him for the anti-Boston fraud that he is.
If any of you read the Dan Chat, or participate in it, your assistance would be greatly appreciated. I can one hope Dan will grace us with gifts like "concetrate" or "consistent", but only time will tell.
Next Week. Dan-Chat...the battle begins.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
It's Almost like they won the World Series
I by no means consider Mike O'Malley a sports expert, no matter even a reliable source for sports information. I think I would even go the Jay Mohr before i went to Mr. O'Malley. Aside from being a total homer, and a closet pedophile (courtesy of GUTS), he's actually a mildly funny guy.
SETTING THE SCENE:
Game 7. ALCS. Sox v. Tribe
What is Mike O'Malley doing? Writing in his blog. (why i'm reading this during the game is beyond me) Let's check out a few gems...
Love "Little Papi". I'm totally going to use it...never. Points for creativity, but i have a feeling he's given out that nickname before.
Scratch that...
Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it because i ate too many Asdrubals and I weight too much. BTW, Lets start calling the short kid "Little Papi" to make him feel better about himself.
Sincerely,
Mikey
Jacoby Ellsbury is a Native American and we love him.
I am part Native American too. Do you love me? I didn't think so.
Thought we could all use a good, "pick me up" JPEG.
SETTING THE SCENE:
Game 7. ALCS. Sox v. Tribe
What is Mike O'Malley doing? Writing in his blog. (why i'm reading this during the game is beyond me) Let's check out a few gems...
Hopefully, a man named Dice-K.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_GUTS
Ok, i JUST mentioned this guy was a closet pedophile, and right off the bat, here he is making reference to GUTS, and show that ended, oh, approximatley 12 YEARS AGO! Dice-K is not a 13 year old girl from arkansas who gets that awkward feeling when you put your arm around her, and ask her to spill her guts...
Asdrubal Cabrera just struck out. Asdrubel sounds like the least appetizing German pastry ever invented.
Ass-Dribble (quoted from Caf) is probably one of the worst names i have ever heard. Done.The woman in front of me just turned around and said, "It doesn't feel like a Game 7, huh? I stared her down.
Here's my issue with this cockstain. First I want to know who this lady is. Second, I want to know how many games 7's she's been to in her life? Odds are this is the first...MAYBE the second if for some reason she was in New York 3 years ago. Needless to say, there havn't been a lot of game 7's in this area in a while.
Next, I wonder if this "game 7" feeling she has is from actually being at game 7's or from watching them from home. I've never been, so i don't personally know of any difference, but from what I've collected...Game 7's are a lot like other games. Even on the virge of a comeback for the ages, it's still a baseball game...till the post party where you can sometimes catch scantily clad closers with beer boxes on their heads. To get to the point, networks dramatize the hell out of games on TV. And I love it.
Love "Little Papi". I'm totally going to use it...never. Points for creativity, but i have a feeling he's given out that nickname before.
Scratch that...
Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it because i ate too many Asdrubals and I weight too much. BTW, Lets start calling the short kid "Little Papi" to make him feel better about himself.
Sincerely,
Mikey
Jacoby Ellsbury is a Native American and we love him.
I am part Native American too. Do you love me? I didn't think so.
Thought we could all use a good, "pick me up" JPEG.
Football Monday Minute
Caf I found some information backed by fact for you:
Andy Behrens, a Yahoo! fantasy expert posted this in his "Sunday Scence" article: "Every time you see that Shaun Alexander-Joey Fatone ad, you become 17 percent more metrosexual. There's real science backing up that claim."
Behrens also went on this article to talk about the fantasy factory the Patriots offense (except if you are a current healthy RB sorry LM).
Tonight the Jacksonville Jaguars vs Indianapolis Colts. Usually whether you like him or not you have to take Manning and the Colts in a game. But when TDC interviewed Manning, all he could do was make this pose found here. Based on this interview I would have to say Jacksonville wins this game. Oh yeah Eli has not comment either, from his NY party.
Andy Behrens, a Yahoo! fantasy expert posted this in his "Sunday Scence" article: "Every time you see that Shaun Alexander-Joey Fatone ad, you become 17 percent more metrosexual. There's real science backing up that claim."
Behrens also went on this article to talk about the fantasy factory the Patriots offense (except if you are a current healthy RB sorry LM).
Tonight the Jacksonville Jaguars vs Indianapolis Colts. Usually whether you like him or not you have to take Manning and the Colts in a game. But when TDC interviewed Manning, all he could do was make this pose found here. Based on this interview I would have to say Jacksonville wins this game. Oh yeah Eli has not comment either, from his NY party.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Travis Johnson is not a bad person.
For fucks sake.
I wasn't planning to make a post about this but it seems my hand has been forced. My thoughts on the subject have already been posted by better (and professional) reporters so I'm going to let them do the talking.
Stephanie Stradley at FanHouse writes:
"Many of the media accounts of this event are factually wrong, incomplete and I would suggest, deliberately provocative. [...] These accounts make it sound like it was Travis Johnson who actively hurt Trent Green, and not that Green concussed himself making a legal but unwise block.
In addition, receiving the ref's judgment call of a "taunting penalty" is different than taunting someone in some sort of schoolyard way as implied by the articles. As he made his way back to the bench, he yelled at the guy who hurt him.
Most of the pictures that fans saw after the fact were Green carted off the field and not the actual violence of the collision. Or the photo of Johnson walking by Green, which from the angle makes it look like he was standing still over him instead of walking by."
Jerome Solomon of the Houston Chronicle writes:
"Johnson might not have been the one carted off the field with a concussion after what Texans coach Gary Kubiak describes as a "nasty collision," but he certainly came close to being the one in need of medical attention. Give an inch here or there, and Johnson would have spent Monday morning on an operating table.
So understandably, he was a bit peeved that Dolphins quarterback Trent Green went low with what is a legal but potentially dangerous block. That block is illegal on kick returns and change-of-possession plays. With Ted Ginn dribbling the ball in the backfield Sunday, this was as close to those types of plays as you will get, but technically, it was just a running play. Don't be surprised if the league bans this type of block on reverses next offseason.
Johnson says he didn't jump up and point at Green to say, "Glad you're hurt, pal." His immediate and justifiably heated reaction was to say, "Hey pal, what are you doing? You can hurt somebody like that." And maybe there was an expletive or eight tossed in for flavor."
But hey, whatever, getting in line behind sensationalist journalism is fun. It's not like there could be more than one side to a story, right?
I wasn't planning to make a post about this but it seems my hand has been forced. My thoughts on the subject have already been posted by better (and professional) reporters so I'm going to let them do the talking.
Stephanie Stradley at FanHouse writes:
"Many of the media accounts of this event are factually wrong, incomplete and I would suggest, deliberately provocative. [...] These accounts make it sound like it was Travis Johnson who actively hurt Trent Green, and not that Green concussed himself making a legal but unwise block.
In addition, receiving the ref's judgment call of a "taunting penalty" is different than taunting someone in some sort of schoolyard way as implied by the articles. As he made his way back to the bench, he yelled at the guy who hurt him.
Most of the pictures that fans saw after the fact were Green carted off the field and not the actual violence of the collision. Or the photo of Johnson walking by Green, which from the angle makes it look like he was standing still over him instead of walking by."
Jerome Solomon of the Houston Chronicle writes:
"Johnson might not have been the one carted off the field with a concussion after what Texans coach Gary Kubiak describes as a "nasty collision," but he certainly came close to being the one in need of medical attention. Give an inch here or there, and Johnson would have spent Monday morning on an operating table.
So understandably, he was a bit peeved that Dolphins quarterback Trent Green went low with what is a legal but potentially dangerous block. That block is illegal on kick returns and change-of-possession plays. With Ted Ginn dribbling the ball in the backfield Sunday, this was as close to those types of plays as you will get, but technically, it was just a running play. Don't be surprised if the league bans this type of block on reverses next offseason.
Johnson says he didn't jump up and point at Green to say, "Glad you're hurt, pal." His immediate and justifiably heated reaction was to say, "Hey pal, what are you doing? You can hurt somebody like that." And maybe there was an expletive or eight tossed in for flavor."
But hey, whatever, getting in line behind sensationalist journalism is fun. It's not like there could be more than one side to a story, right?
When I "Make it Rain", it pours
Let ME preface this article by saying two things. I miss sports. And...I miss sports even more now. And because there are no sports on, lets do a recap of this past week's events.
By saying i miss sports, what i mean is...Baseball is on hiatus for a couple days until the Championship Series begins, Football is obviously on the weekends, and Basketball hasn't started. I can hear you assholes saying "what about hockey?", and all i have to say to that is fuck hockey. I know, I'm Canadian, it's kinda like my birthright, but fuck it. And the last thing I want to do is turn on the t.v. and see the WFSP(World Fucking Series of Poker) or some stupid Wife Carrying competition.
I'm sick of hearing from people that Daisuke Matsuzaka was "a bust" or the biggest waste of money in red sox history. Was Josh Beckett a waste of money? lets take a quick look at Beckett's number last year, and Matsuzaka's numbers this year...
Beckett(2006)/Matsuzaka(2007)
ERA - 5.01/4.40
WHIP - 1.29/1.32
K - 158/201
BB - 74/80
BAA - 2.45/2.46
IP - 204.2/204.2
HR - 36/25
Need i go on? Check the player pages. The similarities are almost eerie. (unfortunately, I can not and will not include "stats" like VORP and ZAPF and WIGGLE and so on) Lets not forget that they both switched leagues (granted Beckett's switch was probably a little easier than Daisuke's) and had to get used to more proficient hitters (the American League has better hitters than the National League overall...period). So can we expect Daisuke to experience the same learning curve as Beckett? Maybe mot exactly the same, but the guy has amazing stuff, his durability will increase as he gets used to the longer season, and I'm sure we can expect the same kinda of experience we had with J.B. over the past two years.
Marion Jones should STFU. Barry Bonds should STFU. You know the difference between the two? Well, yea, Marion Jones looks and sounds more like a man, but that's not what i meant. The difference is she outright got caught. I have some amount of respect for her for admitting it, and returning her medals and asking for amendment of the record books(something BB has not and will never do. But she should stop crying and act like an adult. When i was a kid and got caught stealing a cookie, i cried. Now, i put it back on the counter and ask the lady at Starbucks to please not call the cops. Marion Jones should just plead with them not to send her ass to jail for lying to federal officials.
As much as i can't stand the Yankee's, they just don't seem like the Yankee's without Joe Torre. Would i hate them as much? Probably. Would they still loom over baseball like a dark cloud of evil? As long as Steinbrenner is at the helm, sure thing! But if there's one thing i respect about the Yankees, it's Torre. Not because he hasn't brought them to the World Series since the team he inherited disbanded. The guy's got longevity. How many coaches these days stay with a team for longer than a few years? How many GM's are willing to endure more than a couple seasons without a championship without firing their managers? A smart GM will realize you're not going to win every year, no matter how much money you spend. This is slightly easier to accept in a salary cap sport, but even in baseball you have to account for too many things to think one team will take you the same place every year. I'm sure Mr. Stienbrenner doesn't feel this way, but he has had the balls to hang onto Torre, a clubhouse leader and respected figure, through 7 seasons without a championship. I hope he stays.
Because with Torre, lately, it seems they'll never get back to the world series!
Lastly...Normally i HATE Jim Rome, but he said something in agreement with what I've been saying over the past few days. To put it in T.J.'s words, Fuck Travis Johnson. Here's my gripe...
It was a legal block. This what you want, but until it is made illegal by the league, what Trent Green did was something anyone in the league could do. Think about it. Green is what...200, maybe 210lbs. Johnson easily has 100 lbs on him. Do you really think Green had any chance of taking him down any other way? You run the risk of getting hurt in this game, and if this guy thinks Green was trying to hurt him, he's crazy.
And lets talk about the lack of class. This is what really gets me. Fatty Mc Fat Fat was walking fine, wasn't hurt, but was a little...perturbed lets say. I can hear the conversation they had now.
T.J. - Fuckin a, who the fuck was that? The QB? Who the hell does he think he is? I don't care if it was a legal block, that was cheap. I'm a go give that sucka a piece of my mind.
T.G. - ::drools::
T.J. - ::Taunting a motionless Green:: Yo Sucka, that's what you get when you mess wit tha bull! How dare you lay a cheap shot on me. I hope yo ass is done.
T.G. - ::more drool::
you get the point. Taunt a guy who's conscious and can appreciate the hateful words you express to him. Not a guy who's getting carried off on a stretcher with a class 3 concussion. I'm not sayin you gotta apologize to him, cause you don't, but don't make a fool of yourself...and then continue making a fool of yourself 3 hours later in a post game press conference.
That's it, i'm done...peace out
By saying i miss sports, what i mean is...Baseball is on hiatus for a couple days until the Championship Series begins, Football is obviously on the weekends, and Basketball hasn't started. I can hear you assholes saying "what about hockey?", and all i have to say to that is fuck hockey. I know, I'm Canadian, it's kinda like my birthright, but fuck it. And the last thing I want to do is turn on the t.v. and see the WFSP(World Fucking Series of Poker) or some stupid Wife Carrying competition.
I'm sick of hearing from people that Daisuke Matsuzaka was "a bust" or the biggest waste of money in red sox history. Was Josh Beckett a waste of money? lets take a quick look at Beckett's number last year, and Matsuzaka's numbers this year...
Beckett(2006)/Matsuzaka(2007)
ERA - 5.01/4.40
WHIP - 1.29/1.32
K - 158/201
BB - 74/80
BAA - 2.45/2.46
IP - 204.2/204.2
HR - 36/25
Need i go on? Check the player pages. The similarities are almost eerie. (unfortunately, I can not and will not include "stats" like VORP and ZAPF and WIGGLE and so on) Lets not forget that they both switched leagues (granted Beckett's switch was probably a little easier than Daisuke's) and had to get used to more proficient hitters (the American League has better hitters than the National League overall...period). So can we expect Daisuke to experience the same learning curve as Beckett? Maybe mot exactly the same, but the guy has amazing stuff, his durability will increase as he gets used to the longer season, and I'm sure we can expect the same kinda of experience we had with J.B. over the past two years.
Marion Jones should STFU. Barry Bonds should STFU. You know the difference between the two? Well, yea, Marion Jones looks and sounds more like a man, but that's not what i meant. The difference is she outright got caught. I have some amount of respect for her for admitting it, and returning her medals and asking for amendment of the record books(something BB has not and will never do. But she should stop crying and act like an adult. When i was a kid and got caught stealing a cookie, i cried. Now, i put it back on the counter and ask the lady at Starbucks to please not call the cops. Marion Jones should just plead with them not to send her ass to jail for lying to federal officials.
As much as i can't stand the Yankee's, they just don't seem like the Yankee's without Joe Torre. Would i hate them as much? Probably. Would they still loom over baseball like a dark cloud of evil? As long as Steinbrenner is at the helm, sure thing! But if there's one thing i respect about the Yankees, it's Torre. Not because he hasn't brought them to the World Series since the team he inherited disbanded. The guy's got longevity. How many coaches these days stay with a team for longer than a few years? How many GM's are willing to endure more than a couple seasons without a championship without firing their managers? A smart GM will realize you're not going to win every year, no matter how much money you spend. This is slightly easier to accept in a salary cap sport, but even in baseball you have to account for too many things to think one team will take you the same place every year. I'm sure Mr. Stienbrenner doesn't feel this way, but he has had the balls to hang onto Torre, a clubhouse leader and respected figure, through 7 seasons without a championship. I hope he stays.
Because with Torre, lately, it seems they'll never get back to the world series!
Lastly...Normally i HATE Jim Rome, but he said something in agreement with what I've been saying over the past few days. To put it in T.J.'s words, Fuck Travis Johnson. Here's my gripe...
It was a legal block. This what you want, but until it is made illegal by the league, what Trent Green did was something anyone in the league could do. Think about it. Green is what...200, maybe 210lbs. Johnson easily has 100 lbs on him. Do you really think Green had any chance of taking him down any other way? You run the risk of getting hurt in this game, and if this guy thinks Green was trying to hurt him, he's crazy.
And lets talk about the lack of class. This is what really gets me. Fatty Mc Fat Fat was walking fine, wasn't hurt, but was a little...perturbed lets say. I can hear the conversation they had now.
T.J. - Fuckin a, who the fuck was that? The QB? Who the hell does he think he is? I don't care if it was a legal block, that was cheap. I'm a go give that sucka a piece of my mind.
T.G. - ::drools::
T.J. - ::Taunting a motionless Green:: Yo Sucka, that's what you get when you mess wit tha bull! How dare you lay a cheap shot on me. I hope yo ass is done.
T.G. - ::more drool::
you get the point. Taunt a guy who's conscious and can appreciate the hateful words you express to him. Not a guy who's getting carried off on a stretcher with a class 3 concussion. I'm not sayin you gotta apologize to him, cause you don't, but don't make a fool of yourself...and then continue making a fool of yourself 3 hours later in a post game press conference.
That's it, i'm done...peace out
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Year of the Injury
I would like to first preface this article by saying two things. The first is to Caf, this article will contain many pieces of my opinion, please keep that in mind. The second is I would like to say that from 1993-2001 I was a Drew Bledsoe fan. I say this because he was a New England Patriot, and I will support the members of that team. But clearly most of us (fans) did not know that Tom Brady was going to be a future Hall of Famer, nor who he was. I say most because there are going to be those Michigan fans out there who only came out of the woodworks to say Tom Brady is amazing, blah blah blah, after the Patriots won the Super Bowl. My allegiance is with the Patriots and Tom Brady, but you have to support your home town team.
The sad truth about the NFL, is that people get hurt really bad some times. Kevin Everett, backup TE for the Bills had a serious neck injury in the first game of the season. He seems to be doing well and looks as if he will recover fully. Cadillac Williams goes down with a serious patella injury, and now Pittman is out for the season too. QB's have been taking the hit badly too. Trent Green suffered a class 3 concussion and could be career threatening. Seen here by Houston Texans defensive tackle Travis Johnson (99) as he stands over a motionless Green. Jake Delhomme is having season ending elbow surgery. And now Matt Leinart is done for the season with a broken clavicle.
These injuries for lack of a better term all suck. But what gets me is the lack of available solid backup QBs. Now Kurt Warner is doing ok as the Arizona Backup/Committe QB. But will he be able to stay healthy long enough? He of all the other backups probably has the best chance for success this year. The Cardinals want a third QB, ok that seems reasonable, so they inquired about the services of Vinny Testaverde. Are you kidding me? The man is 44 years old, 8 years older than the 36 year old Warner, definitely injury prone. But then again 3rd on the depth chart is not a terrible place for him.
For the Carolina Panthers though, they have inquired about the services of Drew Bledsoe to be their starter. So one former Number 1 overall pick wasn't bad enough? Lets call Drew "Sack me Again" Bledsoe. The fact of the matter for Carolina is this, one oft sacked QB can not be replaced by an older Oft Sacked QB. If you have stock in Steve Smith this season I'm sorry, because David Carr needs to find some magical fucking pixie dust to become a good NFL QB.
The sad truth about the NFL, is that people get hurt really bad some times. Kevin Everett, backup TE for the Bills had a serious neck injury in the first game of the season. He seems to be doing well and looks as if he will recover fully. Cadillac Williams goes down with a serious patella injury, and now Pittman is out for the season too. QB's have been taking the hit badly too. Trent Green suffered a class 3 concussion and could be career threatening. Seen here by Houston Texans defensive tackle Travis Johnson (99) as he stands over a motionless Green. Jake Delhomme is having season ending elbow surgery. And now Matt Leinart is done for the season with a broken clavicle.
These injuries for lack of a better term all suck. But what gets me is the lack of available solid backup QBs. Now Kurt Warner is doing ok as the Arizona Backup/Committe QB. But will he be able to stay healthy long enough? He of all the other backups probably has the best chance for success this year. The Cardinals want a third QB, ok that seems reasonable, so they inquired about the services of Vinny Testaverde. Are you kidding me? The man is 44 years old, 8 years older than the 36 year old Warner, definitely injury prone. But then again 3rd on the depth chart is not a terrible place for him.
For the Carolina Panthers though, they have inquired about the services of Drew Bledsoe to be their starter. So one former Number 1 overall pick wasn't bad enough? Lets call Drew "Sack me Again" Bledsoe. The fact of the matter for Carolina is this, one oft sacked QB can not be replaced by an older Oft Sacked QB. If you have stock in Steve Smith this season I'm sorry, because David Carr needs to find some magical fucking pixie dust to become a good NFL QB.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
And from the same column
(Random question on the Travis Henry thing: I thought pot killed sperm cells? How many kids would this guy have sired if he wasn't a fan of the Mary Jane? Twenty? Thirty? And did you ever think the same person could potentially shatter Shawn Kemp's fertility records and Ricky Williams' drug test records? Put it this way: You are making a STRONG statement when you purchase a Henry jersey right now. You're basically saying, "I love pot, I love sex, and your dad would have a heart attack if he knew I was dating you.")
I'm buying a Travis Henry jersey as soon as i can find one. Please join me.
I'm buying a Travis Henry jersey as soon as i can find one. Please join me.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Truthfully, i don't always have to bitch and whine about writer and commentators. Occasionally, they not only make me happy to be a sports fan, but entertain me in the process.
Lets Break this down piece by piece...
30. San Francisco
It has been awhile, but one of my cockamamie theories actually worked: The Winston Wolf "Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Popsicles Yet" Test that eliminates the bandwagon playoff pick (as applied to the Niners in this year's NFL Preview).
Lovable San Fran is currently ranked 20th in overall defense, and...wait for it...DEAD LAST in overall offense. If i remember correctly, the defense was expected to be on the upside of mediocre, but come on! When you really put some thought into it...and i mean thought, not stats or projections...just open your eyes, who in the league would you think would have a more anemic offense?
Normally, I would think Cleveland (ranked 11th only because Derek Anderson doesn't have a limp wrist like Charlie Frye, and because the Cincinnati defense is so abysmal), or Buffalo (who lucky for them is ranked...31st).
In other news, you know the Patriots own San Fran's 2008 first-round pick, right? After losing their own first-rounder with CameraGate, how funny would it be if the Niners' pick ended up being first overall? Don't count this out. They're terrible.
No complaints here. Except maybe CameraGate (spygate for all of you who pay attention in the world) No points awarded here for creativity. The scandal was given a name, use the anointed name, not the time to be creative. That and I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about it. Continue.
That reminds me, some eerie similarities have developed between the '86 Celtics and '07 Patriots, right down to the thriving Boston sports scene and the fact the Celtics owned floundering Seattle's No. 1 pick that season, so not only were we Celtics fans watching a 67-win team, we were rooting against the Sonics every game and scouting college prospects such as Brad Daugherty, Lenny Bias, Johnny Dawkins and John Salley. Twenty-one years later, the Pats look invincible, Brady and Moss have assumed the Bird/Walton roles, and on top of everything else, Patriots fans are rooting for a top-five pick and scouting college guys. It's like sports déjà vu.
Now without trying to sound like a total homer, DAMN it feels good live in Bean Town right now. But seriously folks. This is what i like to refer to as Karma. I bet whatever soul i have that the Patriots were NOT the only team implementing this sort of tactic. And i bet that same soul that every coach and coordinator in the league is gunning for the Jets cause Dudley-Do-Right Mangini decided either A) It's time to clean up this league, and i'm going to set forth a chain of irreversible events starting with taddling on my old boss. or B) I'm sick of losing to the Pats, so if I can't beat that, i might as well attempt to tarnish any and all of their recent accomplishments including the Super Bowl rings that i kiss every night before I go to bed.
What goes around, comes around bitch. Here's a prediction for you. You will NEVER win ANYTHING in New York. This is the new millennium. Yanks haven't won since the turn of the century. The Bills, the Sabers (yea, i supposed Buffalo counts as part of New York too, although I fell Canada might attempt to obtain it via osmosis very soon) the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the other 500 New York teams all...wait for it...SUCK! And by this i mean they haven't won a thing in a long time. You'd think with so many teams, including multiple teams in each league, you'd have a better shot of actually winning something.
If the Patriots win the Super Bowl and land the No. 2 pick, I'm leaving the country for four days after the draft, just to be safe.
It will be the apocalypse. Towers will fall, subways will cave in, and sports fans across the world will have just one more reason to hate New England.
But come look at out foliage. I hear it's quite nice this time of year...
Lets Break this down piece by piece...
30. San Francisco
It has been awhile, but one of my cockamamie theories actually worked: The Winston Wolf "Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Popsicles Yet" Test that eliminates the bandwagon playoff pick (as applied to the Niners in this year's NFL Preview).
Lovable San Fran is currently ranked 20th in overall defense, and...wait for it...DEAD LAST in overall offense. If i remember correctly, the defense was expected to be on the upside of mediocre, but come on! When you really put some thought into it...and i mean thought, not stats or projections...just open your eyes, who in the league would you think would have a more anemic offense?
Normally, I would think Cleveland (ranked 11th only because Derek Anderson doesn't have a limp wrist like Charlie Frye, and because the Cincinnati defense is so abysmal), or Buffalo (who lucky for them is ranked...31st).
In other news, you know the Patriots own San Fran's 2008 first-round pick, right? After losing their own first-rounder with CameraGate, how funny would it be if the Niners' pick ended up being first overall? Don't count this out. They're terrible.
No complaints here. Except maybe CameraGate (spygate for all of you who pay attention in the world) No points awarded here for creativity. The scandal was given a name, use the anointed name, not the time to be creative. That and I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about it. Continue.
That reminds me, some eerie similarities have developed between the '86 Celtics and '07 Patriots, right down to the thriving Boston sports scene and the fact the Celtics owned floundering Seattle's No. 1 pick that season, so not only were we Celtics fans watching a 67-win team, we were rooting against the Sonics every game and scouting college prospects such as Brad Daugherty, Lenny Bias, Johnny Dawkins and John Salley. Twenty-one years later, the Pats look invincible, Brady and Moss have assumed the Bird/Walton roles, and on top of everything else, Patriots fans are rooting for a top-five pick and scouting college guys. It's like sports déjà vu.
Now without trying to sound like a total homer, DAMN it feels good live in Bean Town right now. But seriously folks. This is what i like to refer to as Karma. I bet whatever soul i have that the Patriots were NOT the only team implementing this sort of tactic. And i bet that same soul that every coach and coordinator in the league is gunning for the Jets cause Dudley-Do-Right Mangini decided either A) It's time to clean up this league, and i'm going to set forth a chain of irreversible events starting with taddling on my old boss. or B) I'm sick of losing to the Pats, so if I can't beat that, i might as well attempt to tarnish any and all of their recent accomplishments including the Super Bowl rings that i kiss every night before I go to bed.
What goes around, comes around bitch. Here's a prediction for you. You will NEVER win ANYTHING in New York. This is the new millennium. Yanks haven't won since the turn of the century. The Bills, the Sabers (yea, i supposed Buffalo counts as part of New York too, although I fell Canada might attempt to obtain it via osmosis very soon) the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the other 500 New York teams all...wait for it...SUCK! And by this i mean they haven't won a thing in a long time. You'd think with so many teams, including multiple teams in each league, you'd have a better shot of actually winning something.
If the Patriots win the Super Bowl and land the No. 2 pick, I'm leaving the country for four days after the draft, just to be safe.
It will be the apocalypse. Towers will fall, subways will cave in, and sports fans across the world will have just one more reason to hate New England.
But come look at out foliage. I hear it's quite nice this time of year...
Friday, October 5, 2007
Canadian Soldiers invade Jacobs field!
Friday Night. Waiting for the Sox, so I'm watching the Yanks and Tribe get eaten alive by "Canadian Soldiers" (flying ants) and all of the sudden I hear this:
"And listen to this crowd. It's like an English Premier Soccer game."
Fuck the heck? First of all, do people in Cleveland know what soccer is? Or where England is for that matter?
But more importantly, who the hell does this guy think he is? Has he ever been to an English Premier League futbol match (not soccer game asshole).
He is, in fact, speaking about the same league that in recent history had to take the following actions:
- Cancel games midway through because the crowd was too...let's say rowdy...and not mention the throwing things on the field, fans storming the field and actually injuring players.
- Suspend fans from stadiums so that matches could be played without interruption.
I think you get the point.
Now I'm not saying fans in the good ol' U.S. of A. aren't as passionate about Baseball as Europeans are about Futbol, though they aren't. And I'm not saying Futbol is more boring than Baseball, because it isn't. But come on! You're comparing the loudest, craziest, most masochistic fanbase in the history of modern sports...to the fans... with their mouths full of flying ants... at Jacobs Field...in Cleveland, Ohio.
I've said enough. Whoever you are commentating this game, you're on my list.
"And listen to this crowd. It's like an English Premier Soccer game."
Fuck the heck? First of all, do people in Cleveland know what soccer is? Or where England is for that matter?
But more importantly, who the hell does this guy think he is? Has he ever been to an English Premier League futbol match (not soccer game asshole).
He is, in fact, speaking about the same league that in recent history had to take the following actions:
- Cancel games midway through because the crowd was too...let's say rowdy...and not mention the throwing things on the field, fans storming the field and actually injuring players.
- Suspend fans from stadiums so that matches could be played without interruption.
I think you get the point.
Now I'm not saying fans in the good ol' U.S. of A. aren't as passionate about Baseball as Europeans are about Futbol, though they aren't. And I'm not saying Futbol is more boring than Baseball, because it isn't. But come on! You're comparing the loudest, craziest, most masochistic fanbase in the history of modern sports...to the fans... with their mouths full of flying ants... at Jacobs Field...in Cleveland, Ohio.
I've said enough. Whoever you are commentating this game, you're on my list.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Caf
First of all look at the facts, yes OC's average has been average, but he has been consistent, you know what you're getting from him. I didn't say he was consistently amazing, I just said consistent. I feel that knowing what you get from a guy is good determination of where to put someone in the lineup(my opinion).
Second I said Maybe that it is because Lackey is over-rated and sucks. It was my thought at the time, it didn't need to be backed up by fact. Because I wasn't trying to prove anything. I personally believe he's over-rated(my opinion).
From now on I'll make sure to distinguish fact from opinion for you.Because I don't want to "kill you" or make you upset that we all don't believe what you believe.
Second I said Maybe that it is because Lackey is over-rated and sucks. It was my thought at the time, it didn't need to be backed up by fact. Because I wasn't trying to prove anything. I personally believe he's over-rated(my opinion).
From now on I'll make sure to distinguish fact from opinion for you.Because I don't want to "kill you" or make you upset that we all don't believe what you believe.
Gammy, you're killing me.
"[...] and they have the OC who has been consistent."
First off, consistent is only a good thing to say about someone when it is followed by "ly awesome". The consistent Orlando Carbrera is consistently league average or worse. Yes, that includes this season where everyone started getting chubbies over his offensive output early in the season. He set a career high for OPS+ this year at 100. For those not in-the-know, A (+) stat of 100 is league average. THE BEST HE HAS EVER BEEN ON OFFENSE IS DEAD FUCKING AVERAGE. That is not something to praise when talking about strenths in a line-up.
"Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks"
John Lackey does not suck. He opposite-of-sucks. On the season he is only .07 behind the heralded Josh Beckett in WHIP (Walks/Hits per Inning Pitched) at 1.21 to 1.14 and he is ahead of Beckett in ERA+ (144 to 139). He pitched more innings and did better. If Lackey sucks, and he is just as good as Beckett, then Beckett must also suck.
First off, consistent is only a good thing to say about someone when it is followed by "ly awesome". The consistent Orlando Carbrera is consistently league average or worse. Yes, that includes this season where everyone started getting chubbies over his offensive output early in the season. He set a career high for OPS+ this year at 100. For those not in-the-know, A (+) stat of 100 is league average. THE BEST HE HAS EVER BEEN ON OFFENSE IS DEAD FUCKING AVERAGE. That is not something to praise when talking about strenths in a line-up.
"Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks"
John Lackey does not suck. He opposite-of-sucks. On the season he is only .07 behind the heralded Josh Beckett in WHIP (Walks/Hits per Inning Pitched) at 1.21 to 1.14 and he is ahead of Beckett in ERA+ (144 to 139). He pitched more innings and did better. If Lackey sucks, and he is just as good as Beckett, then Beckett must also suck.
Why the angels are over-rated
The Angels are a good team, a GOOD team. They are not great, or incredible, they are good. I would even go as far to say they are lucky. They have Vlad, who's more than impressive, and Figgins who gets on base and plays good small ball, and they have the OC who has been consistent. What happens after the four spot? Macier Izturis is your fifth batter? What the hell?
Ok so maybe that's harsh, maybe Beckett had a really good game and just was lights out (which he was). Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks and the Angels are better than good. I'm not saying this series is over but last night looked dismal for them.
Wins left for Papelbon to dance: 10
Ok so maybe that's harsh, maybe Beckett had a really good game and just was lights out (which he was). Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks and the Angels are better than good. I'm not saying this series is over but last night looked dismal for them.
Wins left for Papelbon to dance: 10
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Almost got it...
(Bear in mind, I almost posted about stabbing kickers till I found this gem)
In preview of the ALDS, ESPN's Page 2 had this to say about the Yanks v. Tribe matchup.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=keri/071001&sportCat=mlb
What Page 2 Wants to Happen
A-Rod hits .625 with two game-winning homers in the series and Jeter goes 1-for-21, ending the A-Rod choker label and Jeter's sheen of infallibility. It would take the New York papers exactly two days to ditch those story lines and start accusing Eli Manning of stealing money from orphans.
Now, I would be perfectly fine with this scenario if the outcome was one of the following:
A) A-Rod's two walk-offs were the only two wins in the series: Tribe in 5
or
B) On that last walk-off, instead of A-Rod's bat flying into the stands, his arm falls off, and flies into the stands.
I have no professional issues with MildlyConfused-Rod (unless you count screaming at third basemen to dristract them, and flamboyantly slapping balls out of a certain pitcher's hand ISSUES), and he is quite obviously the most talent player of our era. BUT, I am SICK and TIRED of hearing his name and Jeter's like they're the next coming of Christ and Christ's gay third baseman.
This is not because I'm a Sox fan. I get sick of hearing anybody's name more than once and hour (exception: Tom Brady. No one can get enough of him). But I would certainly love for ItOnlyHappenedOnce-Rod to show everyone in NY he's not choke artist (he just gets distracted when Jeet smiles at him) and for Jeter to prove once and for all that his is HIGHLY overrated and should be executed on the spot.
P.S. Eli Manning does NOT steal money from orphans.
He eats babies.
In preview of the ALDS, ESPN's Page 2 had this to say about the Yanks v. Tribe matchup.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=keri/071001&sportCat=mlb
What Page 2 Wants to Happen
A-Rod hits .625 with two game-winning homers in the series and Jeter goes 1-for-21, ending the A-Rod choker label and Jeter's sheen of infallibility. It would take the New York papers exactly two days to ditch those story lines and start accusing Eli Manning of stealing money from orphans.
Now, I would be perfectly fine with this scenario if the outcome was one of the following:
A) A-Rod's two walk-offs were the only two wins in the series: Tribe in 5
or
B) On that last walk-off, instead of A-Rod's bat flying into the stands, his arm falls off, and flies into the stands.
I have no professional issues with MildlyConfused-Rod (unless you count screaming at third basemen to dristract them, and flamboyantly slapping balls out of a certain pitcher's hand ISSUES), and he is quite obviously the most talent player of our era. BUT, I am SICK and TIRED of hearing his name and Jeter's like they're the next coming of Christ and Christ's gay third baseman.
This is not because I'm a Sox fan. I get sick of hearing anybody's name more than once and hour (exception: Tom Brady. No one can get enough of him). But I would certainly love for ItOnlyHappenedOnce-Rod to show everyone in NY he's not choke artist (he just gets distracted when Jeet smiles at him) and for Jeter to prove once and for all that his is HIGHLY overrated and should be executed on the spot.
P.S. Eli Manning does NOT steal money from orphans.
He eats babies.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
How about those Patriots?
Can you say "four game divisional lead after week five"? Because I certainly can. Let's have a look at the AFC East matchups for the coming weekend to show you that I'm not pulling totally impossible situations out of my ass.
Browns (2-2) @ Patriots (4-0)
If you are in a survival pick-em pool this is definitely the game to bet on this week. The Patriots are running over defenses like they are the fucking Killdozer and have yet to win a game by less than three touchdowns.
Jets (1-3) @ Giants (2-2)
This game has the highest chance for a team from the AFC East not named the Patriots to actually win. They probably feel like shit after losing to the Bills so I'll take the Giants at home.
Dolphins (0-4) @ Texans (2-2)
The Dolphins will win a game when Notre Dame wins a game.
Cowboys (4-0) @ Bills (1-3)
The Bills enter this week giving up an average of 430 yards per game on defense and the Cowboys gain an average of 440 yards per game on offense. It's safe to say that the Cowboys spend 60 minutes of gametime suprise sexing the Bills this weekend.
If the weekend pans out like my super-scientific picks predict that is a four game lead for the division. Fuck, I knew the Pats were going to be a good team this year but this is unheard of. Who would have thought that the addition of a legitimate receiving corps would give us this much of an edge over the rest of the division. And we still get to look forward to the return of Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour. THE TEAM IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GET BETTER FROM HERE. THAT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE.
Side note: For anyone who is wondering, Moss is on pace for 2020 yards and 28 touchdowns. Holy. Fuck.
Browns (2-2) @ Patriots (4-0)
If you are in a survival pick-em pool this is definitely the game to bet on this week. The Patriots are running over defenses like they are the fucking Killdozer and have yet to win a game by less than three touchdowns.
Jets (1-3) @ Giants (2-2)
This game has the highest chance for a team from the AFC East not named the Patriots to actually win. They probably feel like shit after losing to the Bills so I'll take the Giants at home.
Dolphins (0-4) @ Texans (2-2)
The Dolphins will win a game when Notre Dame wins a game.
Cowboys (4-0) @ Bills (1-3)
The Bills enter this week giving up an average of 430 yards per game on defense and the Cowboys gain an average of 440 yards per game on offense. It's safe to say that the Cowboys spend 60 minutes of gametime suprise sexing the Bills this weekend.
If the weekend pans out like my super-scientific picks predict that is a four game lead for the division. Fuck, I knew the Pats were going to be a good team this year but this is unheard of. Who would have thought that the addition of a legitimate receiving corps would give us this much of an edge over the rest of the division. And we still get to look forward to the return of Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour. THE TEAM IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GET BETTER FROM HERE. THAT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE.
Side note: For anyone who is wondering, Moss is on pace for 2020 yards and 28 touchdowns. Holy. Fuck.
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