Almost got it...

(Bear in mind, I almost posted about stabbing kickers till I found this gem)

In preview of the ALDS, ESPN's Page 2 had this to say about the Yanks v. Tribe matchup.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=keri/071001&sportCat=mlb

What Page 2 Wants to Happen
A-Rod hits .625 with two game-winning homers in the series and Jeter goes 1-for-21, ending the A-Rod choker label and Jeter's sheen of infallibility. It would take the New York papers exactly two days to ditch those story lines and start accusing Eli Manning of stealing money from orphans.

Now, I would be perfectly fine with this scenario if the outcome was one of the following:

A) A-Rod's two walk-offs were the only two wins in the series: Tribe in 5

or

B) On that last walk-off, instead of A-Rod's bat flying into the stands, his arm falls off, and flies into the stands.

I have no professional issues with MildlyConfused-Rod (unless you count screaming at third basemen to dristract them, and flamboyantly slapping balls out of a certain pitcher's hand ISSUES), and he is quite obviously the most talent player of our era. BUT, I am SICK and TIRED of hearing his name and Jeter's like they're the next coming of Christ and Christ's gay third baseman.

This is not because I'm a Sox fan. I get sick of hearing anybody's name more than once and hour (exception: Tom Brady. No one can get enough of him). But I would certainly love for ItOnlyHappenedOnce-Rod to show everyone in NY he's not choke artist (he just gets distracted when Jeet smiles at him) and for Jeter to prove once and for all that his is HIGHLY overrated and should be executed on the spot.

P.S. Eli Manning does NOT steal money from orphans.

He eats babies.