It's Almost like they won the World Series

I by no means consider Mike O'Malley a sports expert, no matter even a reliable source for sports information. I think I would even go the Jay Mohr before i went to Mr. O'Malley. Aside from being a total homer, and a closet pedophile (courtesy of GUTS), he's actually a mildly funny guy.

SETTING THE SCENE:
Game 7. ALCS. Sox v. Tribe

What is Mike O'Malley doing? Writing in his blog. (why i'm reading this during the game is beyond me) Let's check out a few gems...

Who wants a piece of the radical rock most?

Hopefully, a man named Dice-K.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_GUTS

Ok, i JUST mentioned this guy was a closet pedophile, and right off the bat, here he is making reference to GUTS, and show that ended, oh, approximatley 12 YEARS AGO! Dice-K is not a 13 year old girl from arkansas who gets that awkward feeling when you put your arm around her, and ask her to spill her guts...

Asdrubal Cabrera just struck out. Asdrubel sounds like the least appetizing German pastry ever invented.

Ass-Dribble (quoted from Caf) is probably one of the worst names i have ever heard. Done.

The woman in front of me just turned around and said, "It doesn't feel like a Game 7, huh? I stared her down.

Here's my issue with this cockstain. First I want to know who this lady is. Second, I want to know how many games 7's she's been to in her life? Odds are this is the first...MAYBE the second if for some reason she was in New York 3 years ago. Needless to say, there havn't been a lot of game 7's in this area in a while.

Next, I wonder if this "game 7" feeling she has is from actually being at game 7's or from watching them from home. I've never been, so i don't personally know of any difference, but from what I've collected...Game 7's are a lot like other games. Even on the virge of a comeback for the ages, it's still a baseball game...till the post party where you can sometimes catch scantily clad closers with beer boxes on their heads. To get to the point, networks dramatize the hell out of games on TV. And I love it.

Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it when Dustin "Little Papi" Pedroia went yard. Sorry.

Love "Little Papi". I'm totally going to use it...never. Points for creativity, but i have a feeling he's given out that nickname before.

Scratch that...

Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it because i ate too many Asdrubals and I weight too much. BTW, Lets start calling the short kid "Little Papi" to make him feel better about himself.
Sincerely,
Mikey


Jacoby Ellsbury is a Native American and we love him.

I am part Native American too. Do you love me? I didn't think so.

Thought we could all use a good, "pick me up" JPEG.