Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Truthfully, i don't always have to bitch and whine about writer and commentators. Occasionally, they not only make me happy to be a sports fan, but entertain me in the process.

Lets Break this down piece by piece...

30. San Francisco
It has been awhile, but one of my cockamamie theories actually worked: The Winston Wolf "Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Popsicles Yet" Test that eliminates the bandwagon playoff pick (as applied to the Niners in this year's NFL Preview).

Lovable San Fran is currently ranked 20th in overall defense, and...wait for it...DEAD LAST in overall offense. If i remember correctly, the defense was expected to be on the upside of mediocre, but come on! When you really put some thought into it...and i mean thought, not stats or projections...just open your eyes, who in the league would you think would have a more anemic offense?

Normally, I would think Cleveland (ranked 11th only because Derek Anderson doesn't have a limp wrist like Charlie Frye, and because the Cincinnati defense is so abysmal), or Buffalo (who lucky for them is ranked...31st).

In other news, you know the Patriots own San Fran's 2008 first-round pick, right? After losing their own first-rounder with CameraGate, how funny would it be if the Niners' pick ended up being first overall? Don't count this out. They're terrible.

No complaints here. Except maybe CameraGate (spygate for all of you who pay attention in the world) No points awarded here for creativity. The scandal was given a name, use the anointed name, not the time to be creative. That and I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about it. Continue.

That reminds me, some eerie similarities have developed between the '86 Celtics and '07 Patriots, right down to the thriving Boston sports scene and the fact the Celtics owned floundering Seattle's No. 1 pick that season, so not only were we Celtics fans watching a 67-win team, we were rooting against the Sonics every game and scouting college prospects such as Brad Daugherty, Lenny Bias, Johnny Dawkins and John Salley. Twenty-one years later, the Pats look invincible, Brady and Moss have assumed the Bird/Walton roles, and on top of everything else, Patriots fans are rooting for a top-five pick and scouting college guys. It's like sports déjà vu.

Now without trying to sound like a total homer, DAMN it feels good live in Bean Town right now. But seriously folks. This is what i like to refer to as Karma. I bet whatever soul i have that the Patriots were NOT the only team implementing this sort of tactic. And i bet that same soul that every coach and coordinator in the league is gunning for the Jets cause Dudley-Do-Right Mangini decided either A) It's time to clean up this league, and i'm going to set forth a chain of irreversible events starting with taddling on my old boss. or B) I'm sick of losing to the Pats, so if I can't beat that, i might as well attempt to tarnish any and all of their recent accomplishments including the Super Bowl rings that i kiss every night before I go to bed.
What goes around, comes around bitch. Here's a prediction for you. You will NEVER win ANYTHING in New York. This is the new millennium. Yanks haven't won since the turn of the century. The Bills, the Sabers (yea, i supposed Buffalo counts as part of New York too, although I fell Canada might attempt to obtain it via osmosis very soon) the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the other 500 New York teams all...wait for it...SUCK! And by this i mean they haven't won a thing in a long time. You'd think with so many teams, including multiple teams in each league, you'd have a better shot of actually winning something.

If the Patriots win the Super Bowl and land the No. 2 pick, I'm leaving the country for four days after the draft, just to be safe.

It will be the apocalypse. Towers will fall, subways will cave in, and sports fans across the world will have just one more reason to hate New England.

But come look at out foliage. I hear it's quite nice this time of year...