I guess in reading Canada's picks that there were parts, and different leagues. Well anyways here is part one (even though I'm third to post this week).
Miami (0-9) @ Philly (4-5)
Philly has Donovan McNabb who's coming off a nice passing effort last week, and Brian Westbrook who sniffs out the endzone like I sniff out donuts in the house. Miami has the oldest defense created. And they are probably going to start rookie John Beck at QB. The only thing good Miami (compared to the rest of their team) has is Chatman at RB and an OK offensive line. Philly 44-Miami 10.
Arizona (4-5) @ Cincinnati (3-6)
Kurt Warner met with Brett Favre before the season to get that fountain of youth Kool-Aid, Brett clearly only gave him the light version. Arizona's offense has the high scoring capabilities, and a great matchup against a dismal Cincy secondary. However Arizona's D is not like the second coming of the steel curtain. Palmer has not preformed to "Palmer Like" potential as one Chris Collinsworth said earlier this year. Palmer does have one of his favorite endzone target in Chris Henry back. If Watson or Rudi can get the run established this week I see a good week for both teams (fantasy wise anyways). I expect a shootout Arizona 35 - Cincinnati 41.
San Diego (5-4) @ Jacksonville (6-3)
This will not be what everyone is hoping for. LT running all over Jacksonville and MJD doing the same over the Chargers D. There is a lot at stake in this game, Jacksonville with a win and Colts loss to the Cheifs could be in a tie for the division lead. The Chargers want to keep their distance atop the AFC West coming off a great victory against the Colts. I see this as a defensive game but San Diego comes out on top. SD 10- Jacksonville 7
Chicago (4-5) @ Seattle (5-4)
Chicago is bringing Rexy back...YEAH! Their defense is beat up with Nate Vasher still out but has been still playing well as of late. The Seahawks are getting back Branch with the offense firing on all passing cylinders. Look for Hasselbeck to throw early and often. If Sexy Rexy starts throwing deep however, Seattle could be in trouble. I say Chicago 24- Seattle 20.
Pittsburgh (7-2) @ New York Jets (1-7)
Here's an easy one. Steelers win. "Big Ben" throws for 5 TD's easy since they don't like to give Willie Parker any love any more. The Jets are terrible this year. If Miami does win a game I say there best chance is against the Jets next time around. Pit 42 - NYJ 14
Friday, November 16, 2007
Week 11 Picks Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.
Washington (5-4) at Dallas (8-1)
The only chance that Washington wins would come with Joe Gibbs not taking his Alzheimer’s medication and forgetting to be at the game. Washington has the talent to put together an upset but if it happens it will be in spite of their coach. The more likely outcome for Washington involves leather, a ball-gag and Dallas telling them what to do.
New England (9-0) at Buffalo (5-4)
New England will win this game. If you need me to defend this pick you are goddamn retarded.
New Orleans (4-5) at Houston (4-5)
The Saints started the season by losing four in a row. Then they won four in a row. They just lost again so they need to lose three more times before they can win again. Andre Johnson is off of the injury list for the Texans and has like seven weeks worth of passes to catch. Hopefully Matt Schaub can see straight enough coming off of his concussion to pick apart one of the worst defenses in the league against the pass.
Oakland (2-7) at Minnesota (3-6)
With Adrian Peterson sitting on the sideline with a torn LCL, the Minnesota Adrian Petersons will essentially not put an offense on the field. This game will be a shootout between the Vikings’ defense and an Oakland offense held together by safety-pins and tape. I bet the defense scores more points. Note: this game will probably be hilarious.
St. Louis (1-8) at San Francisco (2-7)
I am picking St. Louis in this one. They finally managed to pull out a win last week and they can still come up with another one or two this season. This is one they should win. Did I mention that the Rams have a healthy Steven Jackson while the Niners are 25th in the league in rush defense and just lost their starting NT for a month? Note: this game will be on par with Oakland/Minnesota.
Carolina (4-5) at Green Bay (8-1)
Green Bay found a running back (Ryan Grant) who is actually good at running the ball and it only took them eight weeks. On top of that, the defense pitched a shutout last week against the Vikings and could easily do it again here against the Carr/Testaverde lead Panthers. The game goes to Green Bay but Farve will gunsling his way to two interceptions and everyone will still love him.
Washington (5-4) at Dallas (8-1)
The only chance that Washington wins would come with Joe Gibbs not taking his Alzheimer’s medication and forgetting to be at the game. Washington has the talent to put together an upset but if it happens it will be in spite of their coach. The more likely outcome for Washington involves leather, a ball-gag and Dallas telling them what to do.
New England (9-0) at Buffalo (5-4)
New England will win this game. If you need me to defend this pick you are goddamn retarded.
New Orleans (4-5) at Houston (4-5)
The Saints started the season by losing four in a row. Then they won four in a row. They just lost again so they need to lose three more times before they can win again. Andre Johnson is off of the injury list for the Texans and has like seven weeks worth of passes to catch. Hopefully Matt Schaub can see straight enough coming off of his concussion to pick apart one of the worst defenses in the league against the pass.
Oakland (2-7) at Minnesota (3-6)
With Adrian Peterson sitting on the sideline with a torn LCL, the Minnesota Adrian Petersons will essentially not put an offense on the field. This game will be a shootout between the Vikings’ defense and an Oakland offense held together by safety-pins and tape. I bet the defense scores more points. Note: this game will probably be hilarious.
St. Louis (1-8) at San Francisco (2-7)
I am picking St. Louis in this one. They finally managed to pull out a win last week and they can still come up with another one or two this season. This is one they should win. Did I mention that the Rams have a healthy Steven Jackson while the Niners are 25th in the league in rush defense and just lost their starting NT for a month? Note: this game will be on par with Oakland/Minnesota.
Carolina (4-5) at Green Bay (8-1)
Green Bay found a running back (Ryan Grant) who is actually good at running the ball and it only took them eight weeks. On top of that, the defense pitched a shutout last week against the Vikings and could easily do it again here against the Carr/Testaverde lead Panthers. The game goes to Green Bay but Farve will gunsling his way to two interceptions and everyone will still love him.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
DREAM COME TRUE!!!
Barry Bonds is FUCKED
In case any of you haven't heard. Today...November 15th 2007...Barry Bonds was indicted on the cares of federal perjury and obstruction of justice.
The only way this day could get any better is if they threw his ass in jail, and put an asterisk stamped ball at the entry way to the HoF.
In case any of you haven't heard. Today...November 15th 2007...Barry Bonds was indicted on the cares of federal perjury and obstruction of justice.
The only way this day could get any better is if they threw his ass in jail, and put an asterisk stamped ball at the entry way to the HoF.
NFL Week 11 Picks (part 3)
Lets get things crackin…
Two mediocre teams. One on the rise (Browns) and one on the decline(Ravens). If Boller can ignite the offense, the Ravens could pull through, but that is highly unlikely.
Prediction: 24 – 17 Browns
A tale of two opposites. Everyone expected the Giants to be pretty much where they are right now while those same people expected that the Lions might be 3-6 at this time. Kitna predicted 10 wins for this team, and has more fire in his left testicle than Manning could muster up if he went Super Sayan. Expect tight game.
Prediction: 31 - 27 G-Men
The Colts will not lose three in a row. Just like the would not lose two in a row. I think people are more intimidated by the thought of Peyton Manning than his actual prowess. The loss of Dwight Freeney is killer, and the addition of Simeon Rice might actually make them even worse. Sadly, not bad enough to lose to the Chiefs. Despite having a pretty solid defense, the Chiefs just can’t seem to put points of the board, and even an Adam Vinatieri meltdown won’t help them.
Prediction: 19 – 34 Colts
Prediction: 33 – 20 Titans
I could not care less about any two teams than I do the Falcons and the Buccaneers. I seriously forget
Prediction: 17 – 13 Bucs
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It's been a long time...
To quote hip hop artist and producer Timbaland "It's been along time, I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.." I think you get the point.
I want to start by congratulating Dustin Pedroia, he is not only part of the World Series Champion Boston Red Sox (still sounds nice right), but he is also your American League 2007 Rookie of the year. And well deserved too according to the voters. Pedroia received 24 of the 28 first place votes.
Also, congrats to Ryan Braun. He won the national league rookie of the year edging out Troy Tulowitzki. Braun was not only productive on a rookie standpoint, but I would have to say in the 2007 fantasy baseball season he was a difference maker for any team that found a spot for him.
Lastly in this post I would like to discuss the word Creepily. Yes it is a real word and an adverb to be exact, however it is a stupid word. It has been used in such sentences as "That baby talks creepily." That word sucks. Pick a fucking new word that sounds better. I just wanted to say that before Caf starts a rant about it.
I want to start by congratulating Dustin Pedroia, he is not only part of the World Series Champion Boston Red Sox (still sounds nice right), but he is also your American League 2007 Rookie of the year. And well deserved too according to the voters. Pedroia received 24 of the 28 first place votes.
Also, congrats to Ryan Braun. He won the national league rookie of the year edging out Troy Tulowitzki. Braun was not only productive on a rookie standpoint, but I would have to say in the 2007 fantasy baseball season he was a difference maker for any team that found a spot for him.
Lastly in this post I would like to discuss the word Creepily. Yes it is a real word and an adverb to be exact, however it is a stupid word. It has been used in such sentences as "That baby talks creepily." That word sucks. Pick a fucking new word that sounds better. I just wanted to say that before Caf starts a rant about it.
Hot Stove Biyatch
We all love the post-season awards time. We get to find out which of our favorite players got rewarded for their excellence, and who got screwed so we can bitch and whine about it for the next three months. So without further delay, here are the...
07' AL Silver Slugger Award Winners
C - Jorge Posada
1B - Carlos Pena
2B - Placido Polanco
SS - Derek Jeter
3B - Alex Rodriguez
DH - David Ortiz
OF - Ichiro Suzuki
OF - Vlad Guerrero
OF - Magglio Ordonez
07' NL Slilver Slugger Award Winners
C - Russell Martin
1B - Prince Fielder
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Jimmy Rollins
3B - David Wright
OF - Carlos Beltran
OF - Matt Holiday
OF - Carlos Lee
Now, because Caf was awesome enough to actually put his predictions in writing (so he can't go back on them) here is how his picks stack up.
AL Rookie of the Year
Dustin Pedroia
NL Rookie of the Year
Ryan Braun
Caf's RoY Picks
AL
Brian Bannister
NL
Ryan Braun
Score: 1/2
It's still early in the day, and the asshole side of my brain isn't functional yet, so i really don't know what to say. Caf, your picks were, although just, mediocre at best. Now as far as any of you know, I creepily predicted each and every winner of every award. Thank you for your patronage.
(p.s. I used creepily here, which is the adverb form of creep, to describe the verb, past tense, predicted. Look it up. Oh wait. I did)
07' AL Silver Slugger Award Winners
C - Jorge Posada
1B - Carlos Pena
2B - Placido Polanco
SS - Derek Jeter
3B - Alex Rodriguez
DH - David Ortiz
OF - Ichiro Suzuki
OF - Vlad Guerrero
OF - Magglio Ordonez
07' NL Slilver Slugger Award Winners
C - Russell Martin
1B - Prince Fielder
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Jimmy Rollins
3B - David Wright
OF - Carlos Beltran
OF - Matt Holiday
OF - Carlos Lee
Now, because Caf was awesome enough to actually put his predictions in writing (so he can't go back on them) here is how his picks stack up.
Caf's AL Silver Slugger Predictions (as of 9/4/07)
dh: David Ortiz
c: Jorge Posada
1b: Kevin Youkilis
2b: Placido Polanco
ss: Derek Jeter
3b: Alex Rodriguez
of: BJ Upton, Manny Ramirez, Magglio Ordonez
Score: 6/9
Sad to say, i don't have any gripes with the actual winners. And as for Caf's picks, even the ones he was wrong on were all in contention. Crap. Ok, seeing we have time, lets take a look at the RoY winners!Score: 6/9
Caf's NL Silver Slugger Predictions (as of 9/4/07)
p: Micah Owings
c: Russell Martin
1b: Albert Pujols
2b: Chase Utley
ss: Edgar Renteria
3b: Miguel Carbrera
of: Carlos Beltran, Matt Holliday, Ken Griffey Jr
Score:4/9
Score:4/9
AL Rookie of the Year
Dustin Pedroia
NL Rookie of the Year
Ryan Braun
Caf's RoY Picks
AL
Brian Bannister
NL
Ryan Braun
Score: 1/2
It's still early in the day, and the asshole side of my brain isn't functional yet, so i really don't know what to say. Caf, your picks were, although just, mediocre at best. Now as far as any of you know, I creepily predicted each and every winner of every award. Thank you for your patronage.
(p.s. I used creepily here, which is the adverb form of creep, to describe the verb, past tense, predicted. Look it up. Oh wait. I did)
creep·y [kree-pee]
pi–adjective, creep·i·er, creep·i·est.
| 1. | having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear: a creepy ghost story. |
| 2. | that creeps: a creepy insect. |
| 3. | Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird. |
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Introducing the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays...
OF SUNSHINE!
This morning theDevil Rays officially unveiled their new name, uniforms and logo.
"Lots of words were tossed around on Thursday night, including "not too busy," "elegant," "professional" and "classic.""
How about "really", "fucking" and "lame".
Way to adopt the most generic looking uniforms I've ever seen. Did some 8 year old write the name and then some graphic genius decided it could use a lens flare while the owners said something along the lines of "let's slap that bitch on these surplus Mariners jerseys and call it a day"?
This morning the
"Lots of words were tossed around on Thursday night, including "not too busy," "elegant," "professional" and "classic.""
How about "really", "fucking" and "lame".
Way to adopt the most generic looking uniforms I've ever seen. Did some 8 year old write the name and then some graphic genius decided it could use a lens flare while the owners said something along the lines of "let's slap that bitch on these surplus Mariners jerseys and call it a day"?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
2007 Gold Glove Winners Announced
I’m just going to post the actual winners before I start discussing things. Because really, in a post titled “2007 Gold Glove Winners Announced”, naming the winners is pretty important.
AL
P: Johan Santana
C: Ivan Rodriguez
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
3B: Adrian Beltre
SS: Orlando Cabrera
OF: Grady Sizemore, Ichiro Suzuki, Torii Hunter
NL
P: Greg Maddux
C: Russell Martin
1B: Derrek Lee
2B: Orlando Hudson
3B: David Wright
SS: Jimmy Rollins
OF: Andruw Jones, Carlos Beltran, Aaron Rowand, Jeff Francoeur
Note that the NL has four awards for the outfield. What the fuck? I don’t really care, just wanted to point that out. Moving on.
In early September, I sent an e-mail to the other writers of this blog with my predictions for this year's MLB awards. With the awards being announced over the next week and a half it’s a good time to revisit these picks starting with the Gold Glove. Here they are with correct picks in italics:
AL
C: Kenji Johjima
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
SS: Orlando Cabrera
3B: Brandon Inge
OF: Grady Sizemore, Coco Crisp, Ichiro Suzuki
NL
C: Russell Martin
1B: Mark Teixeira
2B: Brandon Phillips
SS: Troy Tulowitzki
3B: Aramis Ramirez
OF: Andruw Jones, Aaron Rowand, Carlos Beltran
You might notice that I didn’t choose a pitcher. The fielding sample size with pitchers is very small (the average starter has only 15 putouts and 25 assists over the course of a given season) and luck plays a much larger factor in small sample sizes which makes it hard for one pitcher to be distinguished from the others. Seriously, Johan Santana won the AL Gold Glove this year with a 14/26/1.000 line (putouts/assists/fielding percent). But how is it any better than Joe Blanton’s 15/27/1.000 or Shaun Marcum’s 19/27/1.000 which included six double-plays?
But hey, 9/16 isn’t too bad. Yes, out of 16. Jeff Francoeur can cry himself to sleep cuddling his extra award for all I care. That shit came out of nowhere. And I stand by my original choices of Crisp, Phillips and Tulowitzki. I think they all got robbed.
Phillips lead NL second basemen in putouts and assists by a large margin while only committing 8 errors in 1371 innings (second most played). Tulowitzki lead NL shortstops in fielding percentage, putouts (by 21) and assists (by 82). Leading in putouts and assists by that much without playing the most innings is huge by the way. Because it means he handled the ball the most and committed very few errors while doing it (only 11). He also had the highest RF9 (range factor per 9 innings played measures the ability to cover the field) and was ahead of the actual winner 5.39 to 4.41. Crisp managed to lead the entire league in fielding percent but none of this really matters with the lack of comprehensive fielding statistics.
I’m just mad that some players who put up excellent seasons got snubbed for big-names who had mediocre years. Hopefully someone else will post about the MVP/Cy/RoY when they are announced.
EDIT: Forgot to mention Tulowitzki's UNASSISTED TRIPLE PLAY.
AL
P: Johan Santana
C: Ivan Rodriguez
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
3B: Adrian Beltre
SS: Orlando Cabrera
OF: Grady Sizemore, Ichiro Suzuki, Torii Hunter
NL
P: Greg Maddux
C: Russell Martin
1B: Derrek Lee
2B: Orlando Hudson
3B: David Wright
SS: Jimmy Rollins
OF: Andruw Jones, Carlos Beltran, Aaron Rowand, Jeff Francoeur
Note that the NL has four awards for the outfield. What the fuck? I don’t really care, just wanted to point that out. Moving on.
In early September, I sent an e-mail to the other writers of this blog with my predictions for this year's MLB awards. With the awards being announced over the next week and a half it’s a good time to revisit these picks starting with the Gold Glove. Here they are with correct picks in italics:
AL
C: Kenji Johjima
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
SS: Orlando Cabrera
3B: Brandon Inge
OF: Grady Sizemore, Coco Crisp, Ichiro Suzuki
NL
C: Russell Martin
1B: Mark Teixeira
2B: Brandon Phillips
SS: Troy Tulowitzki
3B: Aramis Ramirez
OF: Andruw Jones, Aaron Rowand, Carlos Beltran
You might notice that I didn’t choose a pitcher. The fielding sample size with pitchers is very small (the average starter has only 15 putouts and 25 assists over the course of a given season) and luck plays a much larger factor in small sample sizes which makes it hard for one pitcher to be distinguished from the others. Seriously, Johan Santana won the AL Gold Glove this year with a 14/26/1.000 line (putouts/assists/fielding percent). But how is it any better than Joe Blanton’s 15/27/1.000 or Shaun Marcum’s 19/27/1.000 which included six double-plays?
But hey, 9/16 isn’t too bad. Yes, out of 16. Jeff Francoeur can cry himself to sleep cuddling his extra award for all I care. That shit came out of nowhere. And I stand by my original choices of Crisp, Phillips and Tulowitzki. I think they all got robbed.
Phillips lead NL second basemen in putouts and assists by a large margin while only committing 8 errors in 1371 innings (second most played). Tulowitzki lead NL shortstops in fielding percentage, putouts (by 21) and assists (by 82). Leading in putouts and assists by that much without playing the most innings is huge by the way. Because it means he handled the ball the most and committed very few errors while doing it (only 11). He also had the highest RF9 (range factor per 9 innings played measures the ability to cover the field) and was ahead of the actual winner 5.39 to 4.41. Crisp managed to lead the entire league in fielding percent but none of this really matters with the lack of comprehensive fielding statistics.
I’m just mad that some players who put up excellent seasons got snubbed for big-names who had mediocre years. Hopefully someone else will post about the MVP/Cy/RoY when they are announced.
EDIT: Forgot to mention Tulowitzki's UNASSISTED TRIPLE PLAY.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
WHAT NOW, BITCHES!
Dear Patriots Haters,
All I’ve heard for the last few weeks has been “Oh man, I can’t wait for the Patriots to get ruined/crushed/raped/curb-stomped (choose one) by the Colts”. Well, game over, you lose. Who’re you going to turn to now? The fucking Ravens, who lost to Buffalo last week and only managed to put up 9 goddamn points on a shit-heap San Francisco defense? Or maybe you turn to the Steelers who haven’t won a game in Foxboro in this century? I don’t really care at this point; whoever you put your faith in is going to lose.
You all scream about Bill Belichick being pure evil because he videotaped opposing coaches. And who knows, maybe he is? Maybe he does spend his weeks killing children while exposing himself to old ladies and snorting lines of cocaine off Satan’s ass but he wins on Sundays and that’s all that matters.
I honestly don’t see this team losing to anyone during the regular season if they can play that bad against a team as good as Indianapolis and still win. It’s just not going to happen. And even if I wasn’t a Patriots fan, I’d be rooting for them now just to make the ’72 Dolphins shut the fuck up.
Finally, to anyone who has said “the championships are tainted”, called the team cheaters, used the words Patriotgate/Spygate/Cameragate in a non-ironic way or called for death and serious injury to members of the Patriots and their families, I hope you choke on a dick.
Sincerely,
Caf
All I’ve heard for the last few weeks has been “Oh man, I can’t wait for the Patriots to get ruined/crushed/raped/curb-stomped (choose one) by the Colts”. Well, game over, you lose. Who’re you going to turn to now? The fucking Ravens, who lost to Buffalo last week and only managed to put up 9 goddamn points on a shit-heap San Francisco defense? Or maybe you turn to the Steelers who haven’t won a game in Foxboro in this century? I don’t really care at this point; whoever you put your faith in is going to lose.
You all scream about Bill Belichick being pure evil because he videotaped opposing coaches. And who knows, maybe he is? Maybe he does spend his weeks killing children while exposing himself to old ladies and snorting lines of cocaine off Satan’s ass but he wins on Sundays and that’s all that matters.
I honestly don’t see this team losing to anyone during the regular season if they can play that bad against a team as good as Indianapolis and still win. It’s just not going to happen. And even if I wasn’t a Patriots fan, I’d be rooting for them now just to make the ’72 Dolphins shut the fuck up.
Finally, to anyone who has said “the championships are tainted”, called the team cheaters, used the words Patriotgate/Spygate/Cameragate in a non-ironic way or called for death and serious injury to members of the Patriots and their families, I hope you choke on a dick.
Sincerely,
Caf
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