WHAT NOW, BITCHES!

Dear Patriots Haters,

All I’ve heard for the last few weeks has been “Oh man, I can’t wait for the Patriots to get ruined/crushed/raped/curb-stomped (choose one) by the Colts”. Well, game over, you lose. Who’re you going to turn to now? The fucking Ravens, who lost to Buffalo last week and only managed to put up 9 goddamn points on a shit-heap San Francisco defense? Or maybe you turn to the Steelers who haven’t won a game in Foxboro in this century? I don’t really care at this point; whoever you put your faith in is going to lose.

You all scream about Bill Belichick being pure evil because he videotaped opposing coaches. And who knows, maybe he is? Maybe he does spend his weeks killing children while exposing himself to old ladies and snorting lines of cocaine off Satan’s ass but he wins on Sundays and that’s all that matters.

I honestly don’t see this team losing to anyone during the regular season if they can play that bad against a team as good as Indianapolis and still win. It’s just not going to happen. And even if I wasn’t a Patriots fan, I’d be rooting for them now just to make the ’72 Dolphins shut the fuck up.

Finally, to anyone who has said “the championships are tainted”, called the team cheaters, used the words Patriotgate/Spygate/Cameragate in a non-ironic way or called for death and serious injury to members of the Patriots and their families, I hope you choke on a dick.

Sincerely,

Caf