Week 11 Picks Part One

I guess in reading Canada's picks that there were parts, and different leagues. Well anyways here is part one (even though I'm third to post this week).

Miami (0-9) @ Philly (4-5)

Philly has Donovan McNabb who's coming off a nice passing effort last week, and Brian Westbrook who sniffs out the endzone like I sniff out donuts in the house. Miami has the oldest defense created. And they are probably going to start rookie John Beck at QB. The only thing good Miami (compared to the rest of their team) has is Chatman at RB and an OK offensive line. Philly 44-Miami 10.

Arizona (4-5) @ Cincinnati (3-6)

Kurt Warner met with Brett Favre before the season to get that fountain of youth Kool-Aid, Brett clearly only gave him the light version. Arizona's offense has the high scoring capabilities, and a great matchup against a dismal Cincy secondary. However Arizona's D is not like the second coming of the steel curtain. Palmer has not preformed to "Palmer Like" potential as one Chris Collinsworth said earlier this year. Palmer does have one of his favorite endzone target in Chris Henry back. If Watson or Rudi can get the run established this week I see a good week for both teams (fantasy wise anyways). I expect a shootout Arizona 35 - Cincinnati 41.

San Diego (5-4) @ Jacksonville (6-3)

This will not be what everyone is hoping for. LT running all over Jacksonville and MJD doing the same over the Chargers D. There is a lot at stake in this game, Jacksonville with a win and Colts loss to the Cheifs could be in a tie for the division lead. The Chargers want to keep their distance atop the AFC West coming off a great victory against the Colts. I see this as a defensive game but San Diego comes out on top. SD 10- Jacksonville 7

Chicago (4-5) @ Seattle (5-4)

Chicago is bringing Rexy back...YEAH! Their defense is beat up with Nate Vasher still out but has been still playing well as of late. The Seahawks are getting back Branch with the offense firing on all passing cylinders. Look for Hasselbeck to throw early and often. If Sexy Rexy starts throwing deep however, Seattle could be in trouble. I say Chicago 24- Seattle 20.

Pittsburgh (7-2) @ New York Jets (1-7)

Here's an easy one. Steelers win. "Big Ben" throws for 5 TD's easy since they don't like to give Willie Parker any love any more. The Jets are terrible this year. If Miami does win a game I say there best chance is against the Jets next time around. Pit 42 - NYJ 14

Week 11 Picks Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.

Washington (5-4) at Dallas (8-1)

The only chance that Washington wins would come with Joe Gibbs not taking his Alzheimer’s medication and forgetting to be at the game. Washington has the talent to put together an upset but if it happens it will be in spite of their coach. The more likely outcome for Washington involves leather, a ball-gag and Dallas telling them what to do.

New England (9-0) at Buffalo (5-4)

New England will win this game. If you need me to defend this pick you are goddamn retarded.

New Orleans (4-5) at Houston (4-5)

The Saints started the season by losing four in a row. Then they won four in a row. They just lost again so they need to lose three more times before they can win again. Andre Johnson is off of the injury list for the Texans and has like seven weeks worth of passes to catch. Hopefully Matt Schaub can see straight enough coming off of his concussion to pick apart one of the worst defenses in the league against the pass.

Oakland (2-7) at Minnesota (3-6)

With Adrian Peterson sitting on the sideline with a torn LCL, the Minnesota Adrian Petersons will essentially not put an offense on the field. This game will be a shootout between the Vikings’ defense and an Oakland offense held together by safety-pins and tape. I bet the defense scores more points. Note: this game will probably be hilarious.

St. Louis (1-8) at San Francisco (2-7)

I am picking St. Louis in this one. They finally managed to pull out a win last week and they can still come up with another one or two this season. This is one they should win. Did I mention that the Rams have a healthy Steven Jackson while the Niners are 25th in the league in rush defense and just lost their starting NT for a month? Note: this game will be on par with Oakland/Minnesota.

Carolina (4-5) at Green Bay (8-1)

Green Bay found a running back (Ryan Grant) who is actually good at running the ball and it only took them eight weeks. On top of that, the defense pitched a shutout last week against the Vikings and could easily do it again here against the Carr/Testaverde lead Panthers. The game goes to Green Bay but Farve will gunsling his way to two interceptions and everyone will still love him.

DREAM COME TRUE!!!

Barry Bonds is FUCKED

In case any of you haven't heard. Today...November 15th 2007...Barry Bonds was indicted on the cares of federal perjury and obstruction of justice.

The only way this day could get any better is if they threw his ass in jail, and put an asterisk stamped ball at the entry way to the HoF.

NFL Week 11 Picks (part 3)

Lets get things crackin…

Apparently part 3 comes first where I come from. I was appointed the C group of picks, due in part to my apathy for essentially picking names out of a hat, and my desire to not be “that guy” who takes all the good stuff.

Cleveland Browns (5-4) @ Baltimore Ravens (4-5)

Two mediocre teams. One on the rise (Browns) and one on the decline(Ravens). If Boller can ignite the offense, the Ravens could pull through, but that is highly unlikely.
Prediction: 24 – 17 Browns

New York Giants (6-3) @ Detroit Lions (6-3)

A tale of two opposites. Everyone expected the Giants to be pretty much where they are right now while those same people expected that the Lions might be 3-6 at this time. Kitna predicted 10 wins for this team, and has more fire in his left testicle than Manning could muster up if he went Super Sayan. Expect tight game.
Prediction: 31 - 27 G-Men

Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts

The Colts will not lose three in a row. Just like the would not lose two in a row. I think people are more intimidated by the thought of Peyton Manning than his actual prowess. The loss of Dwight Freeney is killer, and the addition of Simeon Rice might actually make them even worse. Sadly, not bad enough to lose to the Chiefs. Despite having a pretty solid defense, the Chiefs just can’t seem to put points of the board, and even an Adam Vinatieri meltdown won’t help them.
Prediction: 19 – 34 Colts

Tennessee Titans @ Denver Broncos

Tennessee is chasing Indy, and Denver is chasing Travis Henry. Its ok Travis. If I could make millions of dollars, smoke lots of weed, and have sex with EVERYONE…I would too. Too bad your teams sucks, and you’re going to be suspended. The Broncos beat three pathetic teams, and stole one from the Steelers, while Tennessee is a key piece or two away from seriously contending with the Colts for the best in the South. Expect an entertaining game…if you hate Denver
Prediction: 33 – 20 Titans

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-4) @ Atlanta Falcons (3-6)

I could not care less about any two teams than I do the Falcons and the Buccaneers. I seriously forget Tampa Bay has an NFL team sometimes, and since the departure of Michael Vick, Atlanta has become a round robin of “who can we fit into this team to make it better”. The answer is obviously…no one. Just because Atlanta has become so pathetic…
Prediction: 17 – 13 Bucs

It's been a long time...

To quote hip hop artist and producer Timbaland "It's been along time, I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.." I think you get the point.


I want to start by congratulating Dustin Pedroia, he is not only part of the World Series Champion Boston Red Sox (still sounds nice right), but he is also your American League 2007 Rookie of the year. And well deserved too according to the voters. Pedroia received 24 of the 28 first place votes.

Also, congrats to Ryan Braun. He won the national league rookie of the year edging out Troy Tulowitzki. Braun was not only productive on a rookie standpoint, but I would have to say in the 2007 fantasy baseball season he was a difference maker for any team that found a spot for him.

Lastly in this post I would like to discuss the word Creepily. Yes it is a real word and an adverb to be exact, however it is a stupid word. It has been used in such sentences as "That baby talks creepily." That word sucks. Pick a fucking new word that sounds better. I just wanted to say that before Caf starts a rant about it.

Hot Stove Biyatch

We all love the post-season awards time. We get to find out which of our favorite players got rewarded for their excellence, and who got screwed so we can bitch and whine about it for the next three months. So without further delay, here are the...

07' AL Silver Slugger Award Winners
C - Jorge Posada
1B - Carlos Pena
2B - Placido Polanco
SS - Derek Jeter
3B - Alex Rodriguez
DH - David Ortiz
OF - Ichiro Suzuki
OF - Vlad Guerrero
OF - Magglio Ordonez

07' NL Slilver Slugger Award Winners
C - Russell Martin
1B - Prince Fielder
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Jimmy Rollins
3B - David Wright
OF - Carlos Beltran
OF - Matt Holiday
OF - Carlos Lee

Now, because Caf was awesome enough to actually put his predictions in writing (so he can't go back on them) here is how his picks stack up.

Caf's AL Silver Slugger Predictions (as of 9/4/07)

dh: David Ortiz

c: Jorge Posada

1b: Kevin Youkilis

2b: Placido Polanco

ss: Derek Jeter

3b: Alex Rodriguez

of: BJ Upton, Manny Ramirez, Magglio Ordonez
Score: 6/9

Caf's NL Silver Slugger Predictions (as of 9/4/07)

p: Micah Owings

c: Russell Martin

1b: Albert Pujols

2b: Chase Utley

ss: Edgar Renteria

3b: Miguel Carbrera

of: Carlos Beltran, Matt Holliday, Ken Griffey Jr
Score:4/9

Sad to say, i don't have any gripes with the actual winners. And as for Caf's picks, even the ones he was wrong on were all in contention. Crap. Ok, seeing we have time, lets take a look at the RoY winners!

AL Rookie of the Year
Dustin Pedroia

NL Rookie of the Year
Ryan Braun

Caf's RoY Picks
AL
Brian Bannister

NL
Ryan Braun
Score: 1/2

It's still early in the day, and the asshole side of my brain isn't functional yet, so i really don't know what to say. Caf, your picks were, although just, mediocre at best. Now as far as any of you know, I creepily predicted each and every winner of every award. Thank you for your patronage.

(p.s. I used creepily here, which is the adverb form of creep, to describe the verb, past tense, predicted. Look it up. Oh wait. I did)

creep·y /ˈkripi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kree-pee]

–adjective, creep·i·er, creep·i·est.

1.	having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear: a creepy ghost story.

2.	that creeps: a creepy insect.

3.	Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.

---

[Origin: 1825–35; creep + -y¹]

—Related forms

creep·i·ly, adverb

creep·i·ness, noun

Introducing the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays...

OF SUNSHINE!

This morning the Devil Rays officially unveiled their new name, uniforms and logo.

"Lots of words were tossed around on Thursday night, including "not too busy," "elegant," "professional" and "classic.""

How about "really", "fucking" and "lame".

Way to adopt the most generic looking uniforms I've ever seen. Did some 8 year old write the name and then some graphic genius decided it could use a lens flare while the owners said something along the lines of "let's slap that bitch on these surplus Mariners jerseys and call it a day"?

2007 Gold Glove Winners Announced

I’m just going to post the actual winners before I start discussing things. Because really, in a post titled “2007 Gold Glove Winners Announced”, naming the winners is pretty important.

AL
P: Johan Santana
C: Ivan Rodriguez
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
3B: Adrian Beltre
SS: Orlando Cabrera
OF: Grady Sizemore, Ichiro Suzuki, Torii Hunter

NL
P: Greg Maddux
C: Russell Martin
1B: Derrek Lee
2B: Orlando Hudson
3B: David Wright
SS: Jimmy Rollins
OF: Andruw Jones, Carlos Beltran, Aaron Rowand, Jeff Francoeur

Note that the NL has four awards for the outfield. What the fuck? I don’t really care, just wanted to point that out. Moving on.

In early September, I sent an e-mail to the other writers of this blog with my predictions for this year's MLB awards. With the awards being announced over the next week and a half it’s a good time to revisit these picks starting with the Gold Glove. Here they are with correct picks in italics:

AL
C: Kenji Johjima
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Placido Polanco
SS: Orlando Cabrera
3B: Brandon Inge
OF: Grady Sizemore, Coco Crisp, Ichiro Suzuki

NL
C: Russell Martin
1B: Mark Teixeira
2B: Brandon Phillips
SS: Troy Tulowitzki
3B: Aramis Ramirez
OF: Andruw Jones, Aaron Rowand, Carlos Beltran

You might notice that I didn’t choose a pitcher. The fielding sample size with pitchers is very small (the average starter has only 15 putouts and 25 assists over the course of a given season) and luck plays a much larger factor in small sample sizes which makes it hard for one pitcher to be distinguished from the others. Seriously, Johan Santana won the AL Gold Glove this year with a 14/26/1.000 line (putouts/assists/fielding percent). But how is it any better than Joe Blanton’s 15/27/1.000 or Shaun Marcum’s 19/27/1.000 which included six double-plays?

But hey, 9/16 isn’t too bad. Yes, out of 16. Jeff Francoeur can cry himself to sleep cuddling his extra award for all I care. That shit came out of nowhere. And I stand by my original choices of Crisp, Phillips and Tulowitzki. I think they all got robbed.

Phillips lead NL second basemen in putouts and assists by a large margin while only committing 8 errors in 1371 innings (second most played). Tulowitzki lead NL shortstops in fielding percentage, putouts (by 21) and assists (by 82). Leading in putouts and assists by that much without playing the most innings is huge by the way. Because it means he handled the ball the most and committed very few errors while doing it (only 11). He also had the highest RF9 (range factor per 9 innings played measures the ability to cover the field) and was ahead of the actual winner 5.39 to 4.41. Crisp managed to lead the entire league in fielding percent but none of this really matters with the lack of comprehensive fielding statistics.

I’m just mad that some players who put up excellent seasons got snubbed for big-names who had mediocre years. Hopefully someone else will post about the MVP/Cy/RoY when they are announced.

EDIT: Forgot to mention Tulowitzki's UNASSISTED TRIPLE PLAY.

WHAT NOW, BITCHES!

Dear Patriots Haters,

All I’ve heard for the last few weeks has been “Oh man, I can’t wait for the Patriots to get ruined/crushed/raped/curb-stomped (choose one) by the Colts”. Well, game over, you lose. Who’re you going to turn to now? The fucking Ravens, who lost to Buffalo last week and only managed to put up 9 goddamn points on a shit-heap San Francisco defense? Or maybe you turn to the Steelers who haven’t won a game in Foxboro in this century? I don’t really care at this point; whoever you put your faith in is going to lose.

You all scream about Bill Belichick being pure evil because he videotaped opposing coaches. And who knows, maybe he is? Maybe he does spend his weeks killing children while exposing himself to old ladies and snorting lines of cocaine off Satan’s ass but he wins on Sundays and that’s all that matters.

I honestly don’t see this team losing to anyone during the regular season if they can play that bad against a team as good as Indianapolis and still win. It’s just not going to happen. And even if I wasn’t a Patriots fan, I’d be rooting for them now just to make the ’72 Dolphins shut the fuck up.

Finally, to anyone who has said “the championships are tainted”, called the team cheaters, used the words Patriotgate/Spygate/Cameragate in a non-ironic way or called for death and serious injury to members of the Patriots and their families, I hope you choke on a dick.

Sincerely,

Caf

The Dan-Man Commeth!!!

As none of you know, Touchdown Cincinnati was not the first choice for the name of this blog, but it was definitely the most offensive. Either way, being a fan of the Fire Joe Morgan site, and having a local reporter we all love to hate, our original site idea was Fire Dan Shaughnessy.com.

That being said, i believe we now have our blogging GOLD MINE!

Just as FJM has their weekly Joe Chat, it seems our friend at the Globe, Mr. Shaugnessy now has his very Dan Chat!

The only issue with Dan Chat is that, as much as we hate Dan, he knows slightly more than the Talented Mr. Morgan. Aside from a complete ineptitude for typing and spelling, we're going to have to keep tabs on this, watch his every move, and figure out his habits and patterns so we can get into a groove of really exposing him for the anti-Boston fraud that he is.

If any of you read the Dan Chat, or participate in it, your assistance would be greatly appreciated. I can one hope Dan will grace us with gifts like "concetrate" or "consistent", but only time will tell.

Next Week. Dan-Chat...the battle begins.

It's Almost like they won the World Series

I by no means consider Mike O'Malley a sports expert, no matter even a reliable source for sports information. I think I would even go the Jay Mohr before i went to Mr. O'Malley. Aside from being a total homer, and a closet pedophile (courtesy of GUTS), he's actually a mildly funny guy.

SETTING THE SCENE:
Game 7. ALCS. Sox v. Tribe

What is Mike O'Malley doing? Writing in his blog. (why i'm reading this during the game is beyond me) Let's check out a few gems...

Who wants a piece of the radical rock most?

Hopefully, a man named Dice-K.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_GUTS

Ok, i JUST mentioned this guy was a closet pedophile, and right off the bat, here he is making reference to GUTS, and show that ended, oh, approximatley 12 YEARS AGO! Dice-K is not a 13 year old girl from arkansas who gets that awkward feeling when you put your arm around her, and ask her to spill her guts...

Asdrubal Cabrera just struck out. Asdrubel sounds like the least appetizing German pastry ever invented.

Ass-Dribble (quoted from Caf) is probably one of the worst names i have ever heard. Done.

The woman in front of me just turned around and said, "It doesn't feel like a Game 7, huh? I stared her down.

Here's my issue with this cockstain. First I want to know who this lady is. Second, I want to know how many games 7's she's been to in her life? Odds are this is the first...MAYBE the second if for some reason she was in New York 3 years ago. Needless to say, there havn't been a lot of game 7's in this area in a while.

Next, I wonder if this "game 7" feeling she has is from actually being at game 7's or from watching them from home. I've never been, so i don't personally know of any difference, but from what I've collected...Game 7's are a lot like other games. Even on the virge of a comeback for the ages, it's still a baseball game...till the post party where you can sometimes catch scantily clad closers with beer boxes on their heads. To get to the point, networks dramatize the hell out of games on TV. And I love it.

Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it when Dustin "Little Papi" Pedroia went yard. Sorry.

Love "Little Papi". I'm totally going to use it...never. Points for creativity, but i have a feeling he's given out that nickname before.

Scratch that...

Dear John Henry: I broke my chair jumping on it because i ate too many Asdrubals and I weight too much. BTW, Lets start calling the short kid "Little Papi" to make him feel better about himself.
Sincerely,
Mikey


Jacoby Ellsbury is a Native American and we love him.

I am part Native American too. Do you love me? I didn't think so.

Thought we could all use a good, "pick me up" JPEG.

Football Monday Minute

Caf I found some information backed by fact for you:

Andy Behrens, a Yahoo! fantasy expert posted this in his "Sunday Scence" article: "Every time you see that Shaun Alexander-Joey Fatone ad, you become 17 percent more metrosexual. There's real science backing up that claim."

Behrens also went on this article to talk about the fantasy factory the Patriots offense (except if you are a current healthy RB sorry LM).

Tonight the Jacksonville Jaguars vs Indianapolis Colts. Usually whether you like him or not you have to take Manning and the Colts in a game. But when TDC interviewed Manning, all he could do was make this pose found here. Based on this interview I would have to say Jacksonville wins this game. Oh yeah Eli has not comment either, from his NY party.

Travis Johnson is not a bad person.

For fucks sake.

I wasn't planning to make a post about this but it seems my hand has been forced. My thoughts on the subject have already been posted by better (and professional) reporters so I'm going to let them do the talking.

Stephanie Stradley at FanHouse writes:
"Many of the media accounts of this event are factually wrong, incomplete and I would suggest, deliberately provocative. [...] These accounts make it sound like it was Travis Johnson who actively hurt Trent Green, and not that Green concussed himself making a legal but unwise block.

In addition, receiving the ref's judgment call of a "taunting penalty" is different than taunting someone in some sort of schoolyard way as implied by the articles. As he made his way back to the bench, he yelled at the guy who hurt him.

Most of the pictures that fans saw after the fact were Green carted off the field and not the actual violence of the collision. Or the photo of Johnson walking by Green, which from the angle makes it look like he was standing still over him instead of walking by."

Jerome Solomon of the Houston Chronicle writes:
"Johnson might not have been the one carted off the field with a concussion after what Texans coach Gary Kubiak describes as a "nasty collision," but he certainly came close to being the one in need of medical attention. Give an inch here or there, and Johnson would have spent Monday morning on an operating table.

So understandably, he was a bit peeved that Dolphins quarterback Trent Green went low with what is a legal but potentially dangerous block. That block is illegal on kick returns and change-of-possession plays. With Ted Ginn dribbling the ball in the backfield Sunday, this was as close to those types of plays as you will get, but technically, it was just a running play. Don't be surprised if the league bans this type of block on reverses next offseason.

Johnson says he didn't jump up and point at Green to say, "Glad you're hurt, pal." His immediate and justifiably heated reaction was to say, "Hey pal, what are you doing? You can hurt somebody like that." And maybe there was an expletive or eight tossed in for flavor."

But hey, whatever, getting in line behind sensationalist journalism is fun. It's not like there could be more than one side to a story, right?

When I "Make it Rain", it pours

Let ME preface this article by saying two things. I miss sports. And...I miss sports even more now. And because there are no sports on, lets do a recap of this past week's events.

By saying i miss sports, what i mean is...Baseball is on hiatus for a couple days until the Championship Series begins, Football is obviously on the weekends, and Basketball hasn't started. I can hear you assholes saying "what about hockey?", and all i have to say to that is fuck hockey. I know, I'm Canadian, it's kinda like my birthright, but fuck it. And the last thing I want to do is turn on the t.v. and see the WFSP(World Fucking Series of Poker) or some stupid Wife Carrying competition.

I'm sick of hearing from people that Daisuke Matsuzaka was "a bust" or the biggest waste of money in red sox history. Was Josh Beckett a waste of money? lets take a quick look at Beckett's number last year, and Matsuzaka's numbers this year...

Beckett(2006)/Matsuzaka(2007)

ERA - 5.01/4.40
WHIP - 1.29/1.32
K - 158/201
BB - 74/80
BAA - 2.45/2.46
IP - 204.2/204.2
HR - 36/25

Need i go on? Check the player pages. The similarities are almost eerie. (unfortunately, I can not and will not include "stats" like VORP and ZAPF and WIGGLE and so on) Lets not forget that they both switched leagues (granted Beckett's switch was probably a little easier than Daisuke's) and had to get used to more proficient hitters (the American League has better hitters than the National League overall...period). So can we expect Daisuke to experience the same learning curve as Beckett? Maybe mot exactly the same, but the guy has amazing stuff, his durability will increase as he gets used to the longer season, and I'm sure we can expect the same kinda of experience we had with J.B. over the past two years.

Marion Jones should STFU. Barry Bonds should STFU. You know the difference between the two? Well, yea, Marion Jones looks and sounds more like a man, but that's not what i meant. The difference is she outright got caught. I have some amount of respect for her for admitting it, and returning her medals and asking for amendment of the record books(something BB has not and will never do. But she should stop crying and act like an adult. When i was a kid and got caught stealing a cookie, i cried. Now, i put it back on the counter and ask the lady at Starbucks to please not call the cops. Marion Jones should just plead with them not to send her ass to jail for lying to federal officials.

As much as i can't stand the Yankee's, they just don't seem like the Yankee's without Joe Torre. Would i hate them as much? Probably. Would they still loom over baseball like a dark cloud of evil? As long as Steinbrenner is at the helm, sure thing! But if there's one thing i respect about the Yankees, it's Torre. Not because he hasn't brought them to the World Series since the team he inherited disbanded. The guy's got longevity. How many coaches these days stay with a team for longer than a few years? How many GM's are willing to endure more than a couple seasons without a championship without firing their managers? A smart GM will realize you're not going to win every year, no matter how much money you spend. This is slightly easier to accept in a salary cap sport, but even in baseball you have to account for too many things to think one team will take you the same place every year. I'm sure Mr. Stienbrenner doesn't feel this way, but he has had the balls to hang onto Torre, a clubhouse leader and respected figure, through 7 seasons without a championship. I hope he stays.

Because with Torre, lately, it seems they'll never get back to the world series!

Lastly...Normally i HATE Jim Rome, but he said something in agreement with what I've been saying over the past few days. To put it in T.J.'s words, Fuck Travis Johnson. Here's my gripe...

It was a legal block. This what you want, but until it is made illegal by the league, what Trent Green did was something anyone in the league could do. Think about it. Green is what...200, maybe 210lbs. Johnson easily has 100 lbs on him. Do you really think Green had any chance of taking him down any other way? You run the risk of getting hurt in this game, and if this guy thinks Green was trying to hurt him, he's crazy.

And lets talk about the lack of class. This is what really gets me. Fatty Mc Fat Fat was walking fine, wasn't hurt, but was a little...perturbed lets say. I can hear the conversation they had now.

T.J. - Fuckin a, who the fuck was that? The QB? Who the hell does he think he is? I don't care if it was a legal block, that was cheap. I'm a go give that sucka a piece of my mind.

T.G. - ::drools::

T.J. - ::Taunting a motionless Green:: Yo Sucka, that's what you get when you mess wit tha bull! How dare you lay a cheap shot on me. I hope yo ass is done.

T.G. - ::more drool::

you get the point. Taunt a guy who's conscious and can appreciate the hateful words you express to him. Not a guy who's getting carried off on a stretcher with a class 3 concussion. I'm not sayin you gotta apologize to him, cause you don't, but don't make a fool of yourself...and then continue making a fool of yourself 3 hours later in a post game press conference.

That's it, i'm done...peace out

The Year of the Injury

I would like to first preface this article by saying two things. The first is to Caf, this article will contain many pieces of my opinion, please keep that in mind. The second is I would like to say that from 1993-2001 I was a Drew Bledsoe fan. I say this because he was a New England Patriot, and I will support the members of that team. But clearly most of us (fans) did not know that Tom Brady was going to be a future Hall of Famer, nor who he was. I say most because there are going to be those Michigan fans out there who only came out of the woodworks to say Tom Brady is amazing, blah blah blah, after the Patriots won the Super Bowl. My allegiance is with the Patriots and Tom Brady, but you have to support your home town team.

The sad truth about the NFL, is that people get hurt really bad some times. Kevin Everett, backup TE for the Bills had a serious neck injury in the first game of the season. He seems to be doing well and looks as if he will recover fully. Cadillac Williams goes down with a serious patella injury, and now Pittman is out for the season too. QB's have been taking the hit badly too. Trent Green suffered a class 3 concussion and could be career threatening. Seen here by Houston Texans defensive tackle Travis Johnson (99) as he stands over a motionless Green. Jake Delhomme is having season ending elbow surgery. And now Matt Leinart is done for the season with a broken clavicle.

These injuries for lack of a better term all suck. But what gets me is the lack of available solid backup QBs. Now Kurt Warner is doing ok as the Arizona Backup/Committe QB. But will he be able to stay healthy long enough? He of all the other backups probably has the best chance for success this year. The Cardinals want a third QB, ok that seems reasonable, so they inquired about the services of Vinny Testaverde. Are you kidding me? The man is 44 years old, 8 years older than the 36 year old Warner, definitely injury prone. But then again 3rd on the depth chart is not a terrible place for him.

For the Carolina Panthers though, they have inquired about the services of Drew Bledsoe to be their starter. So one former Number 1 overall pick wasn't bad enough? Lets call Drew "Sack me Again" Bledsoe. The fact of the matter for Carolina is this, one oft sacked QB can not be replaced by an older Oft Sacked QB. If you have stock in Steve Smith this season I'm sorry, because David Carr needs to find some magical fucking pixie dust to become a good NFL QB.

And from the same column

(Random question on the Travis Henry thing: I thought pot killed sperm cells? How many kids would this guy have sired if he wasn't a fan of the Mary Jane? Twenty? Thirty? And did you ever think the same person could potentially shatter Shawn Kemp's fertility records and Ricky Williams' drug test records? Put it this way: You are making a STRONG statement when you purchase a Henry jersey right now. You're basically saying, "I love pot, I love sex, and your dad would have a heart attack if he knew I was dating you.")

I'm buying a Travis Henry jersey as soon as i can find one. Please join me.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Truthfully, i don't always have to bitch and whine about writer and commentators. Occasionally, they not only make me happy to be a sports fan, but entertain me in the process.

Lets Break this down piece by piece...

30. San Francisco
It has been awhile, but one of my cockamamie theories actually worked: The Winston Wolf "Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Popsicles Yet" Test that eliminates the bandwagon playoff pick (as applied to the Niners in this year's NFL Preview).

Lovable San Fran is currently ranked 20th in overall defense, and...wait for it...DEAD LAST in overall offense. If i remember correctly, the defense was expected to be on the upside of mediocre, but come on! When you really put some thought into it...and i mean thought, not stats or projections...just open your eyes, who in the league would you think would have a more anemic offense?

Normally, I would think Cleveland (ranked 11th only because Derek Anderson doesn't have a limp wrist like Charlie Frye, and because the Cincinnati defense is so abysmal), or Buffalo (who lucky for them is ranked...31st).

In other news, you know the Patriots own San Fran's 2008 first-round pick, right? After losing their own first-rounder with CameraGate, how funny would it be if the Niners' pick ended up being first overall? Don't count this out. They're terrible.

No complaints here. Except maybe CameraGate (spygate for all of you who pay attention in the world) No points awarded here for creativity. The scandal was given a name, use the anointed name, not the time to be creative. That and I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about it. Continue.

That reminds me, some eerie similarities have developed between the '86 Celtics and '07 Patriots, right down to the thriving Boston sports scene and the fact the Celtics owned floundering Seattle's No. 1 pick that season, so not only were we Celtics fans watching a 67-win team, we were rooting against the Sonics every game and scouting college prospects such as Brad Daugherty, Lenny Bias, Johnny Dawkins and John Salley. Twenty-one years later, the Pats look invincible, Brady and Moss have assumed the Bird/Walton roles, and on top of everything else, Patriots fans are rooting for a top-five pick and scouting college guys. It's like sports déjà vu.

Now without trying to sound like a total homer, DAMN it feels good live in Bean Town right now. But seriously folks. This is what i like to refer to as Karma. I bet whatever soul i have that the Patriots were NOT the only team implementing this sort of tactic. And i bet that same soul that every coach and coordinator in the league is gunning for the Jets cause Dudley-Do-Right Mangini decided either A) It's time to clean up this league, and i'm going to set forth a chain of irreversible events starting with taddling on my old boss. or B) I'm sick of losing to the Pats, so if I can't beat that, i might as well attempt to tarnish any and all of their recent accomplishments including the Super Bowl rings that i kiss every night before I go to bed.
What goes around, comes around bitch. Here's a prediction for you. You will NEVER win ANYTHING in New York. This is the new millennium. Yanks haven't won since the turn of the century. The Bills, the Sabers (yea, i supposed Buffalo counts as part of New York too, although I fell Canada might attempt to obtain it via osmosis very soon) the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the other 500 New York teams all...wait for it...SUCK! And by this i mean they haven't won a thing in a long time. You'd think with so many teams, including multiple teams in each league, you'd have a better shot of actually winning something.

If the Patriots win the Super Bowl and land the No. 2 pick, I'm leaving the country for four days after the draft, just to be safe.

It will be the apocalypse. Towers will fall, subways will cave in, and sports fans across the world will have just one more reason to hate New England.

But come look at out foliage. I hear it's quite nice this time of year...

Canadian Soldiers invade Jacobs field!

Friday Night. Waiting for the Sox, so I'm watching the Yanks and Tribe get eaten alive by "Canadian Soldiers" (flying ants) and all of the sudden I hear this:

"And listen to this crowd. It's like an English Premier Soccer game."

Fuck the heck? First of all, do people in Cleveland know what soccer is? Or where England is for that matter?

But more importantly, who the hell does this guy think he is? Has he ever been to an English Premier League futbol match (not soccer game asshole).

He is, in fact, speaking about the same league that in recent history had to take the following actions:

- Cancel games midway through because the crowd was too...let's say rowdy...and not mention the throwing things on the field, fans storming the field and actually injuring players.

- Suspend fans from stadiums so that matches could be played without interruption.

I think you get the point.

Now I'm not saying fans in the good ol' U.S. of A. aren't as passionate about Baseball as Europeans are about Futbol, though they aren't. And I'm not saying Futbol is more boring than Baseball, because it isn't. But come on! You're comparing the loudest, craziest, most masochistic fanbase in the history of modern sports...to the fans... with their mouths full of flying ants... at Jacobs Field...in Cleveland, Ohio.

I've said enough. Whoever you are commentating this game, you're on my list.

Caf

First of all look at the facts, yes OC's average has been average, but he has been consistent, you know what you're getting from him. I didn't say he was consistently amazing, I just said consistent. I feel that knowing what you get from a guy is good determination of where to put someone in the lineup(my opinion).

Second I said Maybe that it is because Lackey is over-rated and sucks. It was my thought at the time, it didn't need to be backed up by fact. Because I wasn't trying to prove anything. I personally believe he's over-rated(my opinion).

From now on I'll make sure to distinguish fact from opinion for you.Because I don't want to "kill you" or make you upset that we all don't believe what you believe.

Gammy, you're killing me.

"[...] and they have the OC who has been consistent."

First off, consistent is only a good thing to say about someone when it is followed by "ly awesome". The consistent Orlando Carbrera is consistently league average or worse. Yes, that includes this season where everyone started getting chubbies over his offensive output early in the season. He set a career high for OPS+ this year at 100. For those not in-the-know, A (+) stat of 100 is league average. THE BEST HE HAS EVER BEEN ON OFFENSE IS DEAD FUCKING AVERAGE. That is not something to praise when talking about strenths in a line-up.

"Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks"

John Lackey does not suck. He opposite-of-sucks. On the season he is only .07 behind the heralded Josh Beckett in WHIP (Walks/Hits per Inning Pitched) at 1.21 to 1.14 and he is ahead of Beckett in ERA+ (144 to 139). He pitched more innings and did better. If Lackey sucks, and he is just as good as Beckett, then Beckett must also suck.

Why the angels are over-rated

The Angels are a good team, a GOOD team. They are not great, or incredible, they are good. I would even go as far to say they are lucky. They have Vlad, who's more than impressive, and Figgins who gets on base and plays good small ball, and they have the OC who has been consistent. What happens after the four spot? Macier Izturis is your fifth batter? What the hell?

Ok so maybe that's harsh, maybe Beckett had a really good game and just was lights out (which he was). Or maybe it is that Lackey is over-rated and sucks and the Angels are better than good. I'm not saying this series is over but last night looked dismal for them.


Wins left for Papelbon to dance: 10

Almost got it...

(Bear in mind, I almost posted about stabbing kickers till I found this gem)

In preview of the ALDS, ESPN's Page 2 had this to say about the Yanks v. Tribe matchup.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=keri/071001&sportCat=mlb

What Page 2 Wants to Happen
A-Rod hits .625 with two game-winning homers in the series and Jeter goes 1-for-21, ending the A-Rod choker label and Jeter's sheen of infallibility. It would take the New York papers exactly two days to ditch those story lines and start accusing Eli Manning of stealing money from orphans.

Now, I would be perfectly fine with this scenario if the outcome was one of the following:

A) A-Rod's two walk-offs were the only two wins in the series: Tribe in 5

or

B) On that last walk-off, instead of A-Rod's bat flying into the stands, his arm falls off, and flies into the stands.

I have no professional issues with MildlyConfused-Rod (unless you count screaming at third basemen to dristract them, and flamboyantly slapping balls out of a certain pitcher's hand ISSUES), and he is quite obviously the most talent player of our era. BUT, I am SICK and TIRED of hearing his name and Jeter's like they're the next coming of Christ and Christ's gay third baseman.

This is not because I'm a Sox fan. I get sick of hearing anybody's name more than once and hour (exception: Tom Brady. No one can get enough of him). But I would certainly love for ItOnlyHappenedOnce-Rod to show everyone in NY he's not choke artist (he just gets distracted when Jeet smiles at him) and for Jeter to prove once and for all that his is HIGHLY overrated and should be executed on the spot.

P.S. Eli Manning does NOT steal money from orphans.

He eats babies.

How about those Patriots?

Can you say "four game divisional lead after week five"? Because I certainly can. Let's have a look at the AFC East matchups for the coming weekend to show you that I'm not pulling totally impossible situations out of my ass.

Browns (2-2) @ Patriots (4-0)
If you are in a survival pick-em pool this is definitely the game to bet on this week. The Patriots are running over defenses like they are the fucking Killdozer and have yet to win a game by less than three touchdowns.

Jets (1-3) @ Giants (2-2)
This game has the highest chance for a team from the AFC East not named the Patriots to actually win. They probably feel like shit after losing to the Bills so I'll take the Giants at home.

Dolphins (0-4) @ Texans (2-2)
The Dolphins will win a game when Notre Dame wins a game.

Cowboys (4-0) @ Bills (1-3)
The Bills enter this week giving up an average of 430 yards per game on defense and the Cowboys gain an average of 440 yards per game on offense. It's safe to say that the Cowboys spend 60 minutes of gametime suprise sexing the Bills this weekend.

If the weekend pans out like my super-scientific picks predict that is a four game lead for the division. Fuck, I knew the Pats were going to be a good team this year but this is unheard of. Who would have thought that the addition of a legitimate receiving corps would give us this much of an edge over the rest of the division. And we still get to look forward to the return of Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour. THE TEAM IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GET BETTER FROM HERE. THAT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE.

Side note: For anyone who is wondering, Moss is on pace for 2020 yards and 28 touchdowns. Holy. Fuck.

The Big 3

Starting this year the Celtics have become relevant in basketball. They now have KG and Ray Allen to compliment Paul "the Truth" Pierce. In a recent interview on WEEI.com. The three of them were sitting around talking like they've been friends for many years.

Some notable quotes:
KG speaking about the Timberwolves: "Well I've been in jail the last few years, and if any of you have been there you know what it's like."

Pierce speaking about Antoine Walker saying he had the best team in Miami: "You know I've been calling him to talk about my team. I think I've left 4 voicemails, he still hasn't returned my call."

But my favorite:
KG "We can talk about scenarios, like the opposition is going to shut me off with the double team and take away Ray's 3, and then they're gonna say let's make pierce beat us. Or They're going to take away me inside and Pierce through the lane, but make Ray beat us with the 3."

I want to end this by thanking the great state of Minnesota.Because Minnesota you should be proud, you've sent us some great players (indirectly and directly). So thank you for KG and Ortiz and thank you for Randy Moss (oh yeah Oakland, Randy Moss has been such a problem for us, thanks for the advice).

Goodbye Hunter, Hello Tom Brady

To preface this, when Howard and the Deans (Team Canada's Irish folk, metal band) took a trip to florida, we felt the need to dub our most helpful GPS system with a name...and that name was Hunter.

http://www.boston.com/sports/nesn/wilbur/sports_blog/blog/2007/09/28/patriotsbengals_predictions/

Gerry Dulac, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: Patriots, 34-24. “If Tom Brady were any more accurate he'd be a GPS system.

Sorry Hunter, but i think it's time for a name change...Gives a whole new meaning to those HORRIBLE Tom Tom commericals

Might as well let you all in on the "solid" joke.

Everyone, meet the Buffalo Bills' 2007 first-round draft pick, Marshawn Lynch.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=t-iel089cEE

My favorite part is where he is asked to compare himself to another player and gives us this gem.

"I would say LT. Just basically because I pretty much line up on the same areas of the field as he does."

So for the record, my driving skills are comparable to that of any NASCAR driver because we both sit in the same area of the car while driving and my batting skills are obviously on par with those of Manny Ramirez because we both stand in the batter's box. This logic is awesome.

Ain't no better than solid

Consider this...

I am David Eckstein. ( I'd prefer to be Dustin Pedroia, but he is yet to be worldly renowned as the the Duke of Grit...the Earl of Heart...etc.)

I am the undeniable force that holds this team team together.

With out David (Me) this team (blog) would wither and crumble.

unfortunately for me...DAVID ECKSTEIN SUCKS!

But he's got heart...i'll give him that.

Now that the introductions are over, can we talk about sports? Thank you.

Where it all began

I'm glad that this blog is up and running. However I wanted to address a few things. Touchdown Cincinnati (or TDC as it will be referred to as) started about 5 years ago in a Deli at a local Supermarket. Since then it has been the punchline of many jokes, the grading of girls, and well I can't think of anything else. I am not going to say what TDC really means right now though. So the one reader we may have will have to sit and wait. What I will say is this...

This blog is intended for the writers to talk openly about any sports subjects. You will find mostly Football and Baseball talked about, but we don't discriminate, we'll talk about curling if it comes up. Keep in mind we are Boston sports fans. So we don't like the Yankees or the Jets, they suck and always will. Feel free to send in your gripes, make comments on our posts, or send e-mails about subjects we should cover. There are great things on the Horizon for this blog so we hope you'll keep reading.

Now onto Business...

Grit is a better fake stat than VORP.

VORP is meaningless. No matter what Caf might say VORP doesn't hold any value. Grit at least describes something. What does VORP do? It gives baseball stat freaks something to get a Chubby over.

So VORP's out, and Grit is in!

Bustin' Blog Cherry

This post would have been totally worthless but as I typed the first line a grit-filled Dustin Pedroia hit a solo homer to put the Sox up 6-5 over the As. In honor of him, I decided against my original plan to make the largest string of swears any of us has ever seen.

By the way...I just lost.

Now where is my goddamn chinese food?